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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Friendly-Mention7821 on 2024-06-13 21:26:49+00:00.

Well, I’ll just dive right in- I gave birth to my beautiful daughter six weeks ago. She is amazing and I am absolutely loving motherhood. However, as with any big life change there is a steep learning curve and unexpected challenges. One of these challenges has been dealing with an oversupply of milk. My body seems to think we are feeding quadruplets, and as there is only one bub it doesn’t take long for me to get engorged and start leaking. Now that my baby is 6 weeks old, she is starting to sleep in longer stretches- which is fantastic, mostly… Well, she slept 5 hours straight for the first time yesterday. Being a sleep deprived mother, obviously I took full advantage and slept too. When we woke up my baby was ravenous. I pulled down my bra to feed her, only to spray her little face with a stream milk at a remarkably high velocity. When I say high velocity I mean quality-shower-head-with-a-massage-setting kind of high velocity. Now, I’ve been dealing with this oversupply for six week, I’m used to spraying, but not this intensely. I was like a pressure-washer. Both my baby and I were a flabbergasted and she quickly started crying from a combination of hunger and being sprayed square in the face. There is no way my poor child could latch on with this flow- no worries, I’ll just quickly pump to relieve some pressure… Alas, I realised that I hadn’t finished cleaning my pump from the last use and it was still in pieces. I ran around aimlessly with a baby blanket clutched to my chest, somehow still getting milk all over the floor. My baby was fussing and I was still half asleep and pretty overwhelmed, so, not knowing what else to do, I stumbled out onto my bedroom balcony. I dropped the soaking blanket and just stood there spraying milk. To help you paint a mental picture, I live on a farm in an old converted farmhouse. What used to be a large manor-house is now 6 lovely apartments, 3 on the ground floor and 3 upstairs. We live upstairs and my bedroom balcony overlooks fields of sheep and horses, so I was not too worried about being seen by any unsuspecting people. I just stood there for a minute, spraying like a fountain and staring at the horses… then I looked down. Lo and behold, my neighbour had her laundry out on the line directly below the balcony and I had visibly got milk on a large portion of it. I quickly scampered back inside and released the rest of the pressure over the bathroom sink (idfk why I didn’t do that in the first place) then contemplated how exactly I was going to explain the mishap to my neighbour.

TL;DR: I accidentally sprayed my breastmilk all over the neighbours laundry from my second story balcony.