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The original was posted on /r/hfy by /u/MatronaMakes on 2024-06-17 03:54:57+00:00.
This was perhaps the last chance for peace. The delegations from the Axstran Free Worlds and the Snoth Imperium meeting on neutral ground - an old space station in a derelict system that had once been the hub for commerce between their two empires. They sit on their creaky chairs, paint chips coming off on their colorful robes, as they scream at each other.
Relations had gone sour hundreds of years in the past when a Axstran senator had been killed, his ship destroyed and found as salvage, within Snoth space while returning from a meeting with Snoth officials. The Axstrans had naturally believed this to be a Snoth assassination plot, whereas the Snoth claimed no responsibility. As it turns out, the senator in question had been killed on the order of his political rival within Axstran. This fact had come to light many years ago, yet now lay as a forgotten ember in a conflict that has spanned generations. The Axstran government didn’t want their own corruption to come to light and over the years the Snoth grew comfortable with their imagined part in the plot, now seeing it as a point of national pride.
The conflict had continued but never reached outright war. Both empires remembered well the words of their forefathers, those who proclaimed that war would not be allowed. Though the records of neither empire reached back far enough, both cultures remembered the last war. Stories told to children spoke of nights with no darkness, suns far away erupting with light enough to illuminate the skies. Children still whisper about the warriors of those days, the monsters of their dreams, and yet, the ones who saved them.
The adults however have forgotten their nightmares. They now move to bring those horrors from the darkest of history back into the light. It started with the Axstrans. Centuries of escalations had brought them to their limit, so they launched the most insidious of weapons – a sunkiller.
Life on the edge of Snoth space was peaceful. The Snoth cared little for the far planets and let them live mostly autonomously. The Axstrans rarely attacked these small planets and saw them as unimportant for the most part. And so that day, when the sun of the Snoth owned Deltan system erupted, when trillions of lives were lost in a sea of endless nuclear fire, they had no time to prepare. None survived. A similar fate soon befell the simple citizens of the Laas system under Axstran protection. Thus, this meeting was called.
“My lords” said the head mediator – the leader of the bureaucratic organization set up ages ago in hopes of cooling the conflict, “There is a ship approaching”.
The Axstran diplomat looked at his Snoth counterpart, spreading his mouth mandibles angrily, “Has your emperor betrayed his honor and sent one to exterminate us here?”
The Snoth slammed his clawed hand into the table, “Do not insult the honor of our emperor. This ship is not Snoth, if any has betrayed their honor today – it is you, ambassador”.
Both, however, knew the ship was not one of their adversary’s design. Ship designs on both sides had been exposed to their enemy in a long game of espionage. This ship was not as angular and smooth as an Axstran vessel nor was it as tall and narrow as a Snoth ship. This ship was small with blocky protrusions extending from the main body at seemingly random intervals. Most notably, when the ship was shown on screen to all in attendance, the room went silent. The screaming clicks and clacks of the Asxtrans ceased and the haunting low groans of the Snoth were silenced. Both felt primal fear at this small, unassuming ship.
A warning popped up to the stations defense system, telling the engineers of a power spike emanating from the vessel. The engineers did not have time to warn the station master or the mediators before a beam of light appeared in the center of the mediation chamber. Both ambassadors looked on as a being appeared in front of them. It wore a jumpsuit of some kind and only had hair on its head, some on the top and some on its chin. The creature was not threatening in the least bit, lacking the claws and fangs of the Snoth and the hard exoskeleton armor and blades of the Axstrans. This being said, both ambassadors were frozen in fear. Something primal, deep inside, told them to be wary.
“Ambassadors” said the creature in the common galactic tongue,
“I’m disappointed in you both”.
“Who are you to look down on us?” asked the Axstran ambassador, having beaten back his fear, “How dare you interrupt our meeting!”
It looked as if the Snoth ambassador would say something similar, until the creature spoke up once again, cutting him off.
“Who am I?” He laughed, “Does your species not keep histories? Last I was around, the Axstrans kept detailed records to make up for their short lifespan.”
“Our lifespans have not been short since the end of the first era!”, retorted the Asxtran.
“And what of the Snoth? Surely ones as long lived as you have decent memory!” the creature exclaimed. Strangely, he was almost laughing as he spoke.
“I’ve downloaded the entirety of our history to my memory”, said the Snoth, “going back to the days of the First True Emperor. There is no mention of a being as arrogant as you”.
This time the creature did laugh. “Long lives but short memories, the both of you!”, he said, “I am Human!”
Neither ambassador was familiar with the word, but both once again felt fear. The Axstran motioned to his guards. “I don’t care who or what you are, you’re not welcome here. Guards, remove him at once”.
The guards, to their credit, did try to arrest the human. They moved towards him but the human shook his head. The next second the guards were atomized. Both ambassadors looked on with alarm, the Snoth attempting to stutter out a sentence, but nothing intelligible was said. The human laughed.
“You seem to be under the idea that you are in charge here. I’ve already told you what I am, but it seems you were not joking about your ignorance.”, said the human, “Let me refresh your memory.”
“Humanity was born on a planet called Earth. There were no other intelligent creatures. Not on our planet, not in our solar system, not in the galaxy, and for a long time, we believed, not in our universe.”, the human said, tilting his head upwards, “And so we seeded life. We brought the creatures, plants, even the microorganisms created by our God to other planets, spread the seeds of life to the far parts of the universe. You are both examples of creatures long down the evolutionary pipeline from our seeded worlds.”
“Once you would have known this, but long ago, we encountered another species, one that did not originate from our Earth. We fought for many eons. At the end, there were not many of us left.”, the human seemed to be excreting water from its ocular organs, “And so we went from system to system, giving our teachings to your ancestors. We did and do not want the horror of war to stain our universe again.”
The human moved further back in the room, so that he could look at both the ambassadors and all others present.
“It seems, unfortunately, that you’ve already committed atrocities. Thus, I am here. I will tell you the outcome of your negotiations now.”, the humans gaze sharpened, sending fear once more through the ambassadors, “All of your petty games and fighting will stop. No more warfare will be allowed between your nations.”
“And why should we listen to you?”, asked the Snoth ambassador, “You might as well be making this all up. Neither of us have any clue who you are!”
“Because…”, said the human as two screens appeared behind him. The Snoth ambassador knew one of the planets to be Snoth Primus, the seat of the Snoth Emperor, while the Axstran ambassador knew the other to be Axstra, home of the Original Egglayer.
“We invented war.”
As the human spoke, both planets began breaking up. Atom by atom, they disintegrated. Within moments both screens showed but empty space.