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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 on 2024-06-26 04:01:02+00:00.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/AITAferrarigirl

AITA for not letting my BF drive my dads Ferrari?

Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole r/relationship_advice & OOP’s own page

TRIGGER WARNING: financial exploitation, negging and bullying

Original Post  Apr 5, 2021

My dad is wealthy, not like mega rich billionaire wealthy but pretty damn wealthy. My dad owns this Ferrari v12 super car that he LOVES. He takes it out to drive a few times a month when he can and usually likes to take it to a local track. He’s very protective of that car and doesnt want anyone driving it. He let me drive it once at his track, and I had like a race car driver instructor with me but honestly I am sorta afraid of it. It’s really powerful and just more car then I can handle.

Anyways I’m dating this dude and he saw my dads car when he was over and he asked me if he could drive it. I told him he would have to ask my dad cause its his not mine but that I dont think he would let him because my dad doesnt really want anyone driving it. Anyways he left it alone. He brought it up to my dad later but my dad said no. My dad said he let me drive it once at a track with a race driver in the passenger seat and that he just didnt trust anyone else to drive it.

So my dad went out of town and now my BF is asking me to let him drive the car while my dad is gone. He keeps asking me where the keys are and can he just take it for a spin and I keep telling him no and its making me uncomfortable he keeps asking. Finally he got mad at me and called me a bitch and said I should be supportive of him that I should understand he doesnt have a rich family and will probably never have this oppurtunity again and that if I loved him I would do this for him. I dunno. I get that he doesnt really have another oppurtunity to drive this car but like its just a car and my dad would be really pissed if I let him. AITA? I believe I might be the AH because my BF can’t afford a car like this on his own and I feel bad that I’m denying him the oppurtunity to drive one which is something he really wants I am denying him his dream.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

MonkeyBirdWeird

NTA. Do not let him drive that car! It is not worth violating your dad’s trust over some dude, and let me assure you, he is just some dude. I grew up poor, and on behalf of all poor people he does not have a right to someone else’s possessions. Imagine if you gave him the keys and something goes wrong, imagine how your father would look at you as a person. Is this clearly selfish dude worth the relationship with your dad? Don’t let this idiot gaslight you. Breakup with his ass.

OOP

He keeps telling me if I love him I’ll let him drive it. But yea I worry, worry he’ll kill himself with it or like trash it and my dad will be really mad at me.

9mackenzie

Then you should run from him. He is clearly showing abusive tendencies and is manipulating you.

OOP

I’m hearing that a lot is it really that bad?

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JudgeJanus

Your boyfriend isn’t named Ferris Bueller, by chance? 

To paraphrase the movie, you are not ready for this much heat.  If your boyfriend damaged the car, he has no way to pay for the damages, if you are minors, his parents could sue your father, if he gets hurt in the car.   And he’s behaving like a toddler.  Who would let someone who is this immature, drive ANY car???

You are NTA.   But the same way your Dad upgraded his ride, you may want to seriously consider a boyfriend upgrade.

EDIT: A lot of people are calling this abuse and a red flag and honestly I never really thought it was that bad. I just thought teenage boy wants to drive fast car. Like it really didnt register to me that it was abusive or manipulative.

EDIT 2. So that people know I did take the keys and put them in my dads safe about 30ish minutes after this post went up. A lot of people have mentioned he doesnt see a long term relationship with me because he said “this is the only chance Ill get” I honestly didnt register that but yea its got me thinking.

EDIT 3 I guess I have to watch this Ferris  Bueller movie now. I’ll probably invite some of my girls over for an 80s movie night.

Edit 4 cant go through all the comments right now I have to get to class but yes I get the message loud and clear and I will come up with an exit strategy. Also any recommendations for 80s movie night? Ferris Bueller obv

Edit 5 Good news and bad news. Good news heard your message loud and clear and today he really showed who he is. Bad news I have more shit to deal with from him. We are over after this. I cant even…

Here is the final update it was too long for an update post in Aita

VERDICT: NOT THE ASSHOLE

Are these red flags? - rareddit  Apr 6, 2021 (next day)

Some background. I come from a wealthy family and go to private school. He comes from a middle class family and goes to public school. I’m 18f hes 18m and we both are seniors in HS. My dad has a Ferrari my BF wants to drive while my dad is out of town my BF is pressuring me to let him drive it while my dad is gone. My dad doesnt let anyone drive that car. He only let me drive it once at a racetrack with a racecar driving instructor with me. MY BF says if I love him I’ll let him drive my dads car. But I dont want to let him because its not my car its my dads. So its becoming this big fight between us and I locked up the keys to my dads car in the safe just to be sure.

Then I started thinking about other things he does and maybe its not as innocent and playful as I thought. He teases me a lot about being a “spoiled rich daddys girl” he never says it in like an angry mean way but he says it a lot. Honestly I never really thought too much about it because its not entirely off the mark. He also tells me a lot that I dont know what “the real world is like” because I grew up in a spoiled rich bubble and honestly thought maybe he was also right about that too cause I did go to private schools my whole life and I have never wanted for anything and my college is paid for and everything. So like I definitely try to remain aware of my good fortune. He also sorta shows me off to his friends and calls me his “hot rich gf” and again I just thought it was sorta playful and harmless. Now I dont know though.

He is really being pushy about this car, and now he’s texting me about throwing a party at my house now that my Dads gone but like I really dont like that idea either. My dad trusted me a lot to stay home alone while he went on his trip. I begged him not to send me to my moms and he though cause I’m 18 I’m mature enough to handle this so like I dont want to just ruin that by letting my bf take his car out and trashing his house with a party. But my BF is being really pushy.

TLDR: My BF makes a lot of “joking” comments about being from a wealthy family and I’m starting to think I’m just a status symbol to him

Edit things have gotten a lot worse today. We’re so done now.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

dswpro

He wants the ferrari more than he wants you. Tell him your dad is staying home, so sorry, no ferrari. Don’t have him or anyone else over while your dad is gone either. Earning your father’s trust is far more valuable than your BFs fake love, or any party you may have. You will probably not know this guy after you go to college and he joins the army. He really sounds envious, not confident in himself, and like a user. Otherwise he would not call you spoiled. Spend zero time with him this weekend. See if he whines. Prepare for college. There are actual men graduating from colleges every year and you can do better than Mr. “red flag”.

OOP

Yea I starting to think now is a good time to break up. I start at Stanford in the fall and he isnt going to college so we’d be long distance. It just sucks. he was my first bf and I hate for it to end this way.

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luvmyvulvaxoxo

What does your dad think about your bf? Has he given you an opinion?

The worst thing I did in high school was ignore my family’s warnings that my bf was a piece of shit. I thought he was my first love. And looking back I realize he was just a manipulative ass… I bet you’ll feel the same about your bf in 5 years.

OOP

My dad mostly keeps his opinion to himself. I dunno what he thinks. But my mother hates him. Utterly hates him. But my mom. Shes not like my dad. She did grow up rich and comes from many generations of family wealth. She has this thing about class and status and didnt like him b…

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