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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 on 2024-07-05 04:00:02+00:00.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Abject_Tax5584

AITA for telling my friend his game is stupid?

Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole

Thanks to u/strawbery-festival for suggesting this BoRU

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of depression, manipulation, ableism, emotional and verbal abuse

Original Post  June 20, 2024

I’m 23f, he’s 23m. He’s my friend, has been since elementary school. He’s gay, so there’s nothing romantic between us either. Our friend group is very active, but he’s not anymore. He’s now disabled and unable to do most activities we used to do because he can’t walk long distances and his dominant arm gives him problems. He was in an accident at his workplace.

He was very depressed for the longest time, and still struggles with things. It’s been over a year since the accident. While he’s not as depressed in general anymore, he does get sad when we go on our trips without him and he doesn’t have good self image anymore. He’s a VERY handsome guy, and any man would be lucky to have him. But he thinks because he’s disabled and his income is disability that he’s not fit to date anyone.

Anyone real…apparently.

Around the time he started feeling less depressed, his sister got him into video games which none of us in our friend group are into. We like being active, not pretending to be. But a few months ago, he got this one popular game and it really turned things around for him. Namely the fact you can date other characters, which is weird to me.

He’s grown very attached to this game, and tries to talk to us about it. A couple in the group act interested, the rest of us just don’t really care. I try to talk to him about getting out into the real world again but he doesn’t seem interested.

Well once again he tried to talk about this game and this character he really likes, and I finally had enough. I told him no one cares about his stupid game and he needs to find someone real and experience the real world however he can again. No one else said anything and he left to get an Uber home. One of our friends tried to offer him a ride but he just quietly denied and left.

We all went home aftet and I got back to find he left our group chats and blocked me. I don’t know if he’s blocked the others as well. He left me one last message saying:

“That game is the only way I can feel like a normal person again. I’m not disabled. I can walk as long as I want. I can explore everything it will allow me without my body hurting. (Character) might not be real, but he looks at my character in ways I wish I could be looked at. I only get looked at with pity anymore. He doesn’t see that, no one I meet in that game does. So forgive me for finding something that brings me joy. It can’t replace real life. (Character) can’t replace the love and touch of a real person. But it’s as close as I’ll ever get.”

Our friend group had mixed emotions about the whole thing. But when I ranted to my sister about it, she got indignant and told me that I messed up big. She said I was a jerk for making him feel more isolated and for not entertaining him talking about that dumb game. I told her I just wanted him to experience real life and real people instead of focusing on that stupid game but she hung up.

Maybe I was harsh. But am I really the asshole???

RELEVANT COMMENTS

Financial-Note-9308

Yes, YTA

I do agree with the sentiment that he would be better off experiencing the real world, but that was extraordinarily harsh to him.  It’s a coping mechanism for him and to some extent, it has helped to get him out of a funk.  I would have just gently encouraged him to “get out there” and supported that in any way possible, and just make sure you offer that to him so he knows he is still wanted by you and the rest of the group.

That being said, granted it’s something to get him talking again but it’s just a matter of boundaries.  I hope that he can recognize that the rest of you want to talk about other topics (and that you all want him involved to the extent he can/will).  He does need to choose for himself to get out there in the real world, and I think the best thing the people in his life can do for him is to encourage and be there.  Speaking harshly likely had the opposite effect and only encouraged him to retreat into his virtual life.

OOP

It’s not that he dominates conversations talking about his games, or specifically this one. But I just get tired of hearing about it when he does. None of us like games, he didn’t until his sister got him into them. And now that he’s got into this one, it’s his favorite.

I think it’s ridiculous that he’d go as far as to hang out with us, but still thinks he needs that game to get over what happened. We try talking to him about doing some things with us, and he tries. But he can’t do as much as he used to. I wish his sister hadn’t got him into gaming. It ruined him.

OOP when told she has no sympathy

He can either adjust to a new lifestyle, which is what we’ve been trying to help him do. Or he can sit on that stupid game and replace the life he already had with some fake one.

I would really rather have my friend back. Without the gaming.

OOP on if this is ragebait

The fact people would be raging about someone not liking some stupid game is pretty sad and exactly part of the reason why I want him to find something else.

Happy-Examination580

Why do you care about what someone else likes? Is it your life? No? Oh okay then what right would you have to tell anyone what they can or can like? You can enjoy whatever you like the same as they are allowed to enjoy what they like.   You have no right to be an asshole about what your “friend” likes. You just sound like a controlling person and awful to be around.

OOP

We’ve been friend the longest out of anyone in our group. I was the first person he came out to. I was the first one to show up at the hospital after his accident. I refuse to watch my friend get sucked into gaming when he can do such much more with his life.

VERDICT: ASSHOLE

A user claiming to be OOP’s sister finds the post finds the post (unverified)

The “sister” is u/SisterOfGamingRage

Hey, Sis.Thanks for calling to rant about this so I could come look it up and see for myself.It’s been fun! And I can’t wait to see if friend’s sister sees this on a TikTok so I can laugh about it when she goes to tell me about it! So to elaborate for anyone who may see this: Our parents were raised in that "D&D is devilworship"way of thinking.And they instilled it into her with video games. My friend-the older sister of the friend this is about-LOVED games!And so when she and I would babysit the younger two, I would watch her play games their uncle loaned her. Including the first two in the series (Balders Gate)! So when the new one came out, she got it for him to help him have something to do.And once he got over being embarrassed,he loved it a lot. He likes to hang out with his sister sometimes and I’m with her a lot so I get to hear about his game. So don’t worry, he has four ears to listen! He gets so cute when he talks about Gale and we tease him about needing to find a bearded guy with a cat all the time. It warms my heart so many people are jumping to his defense. I wish I could say that about the rest of the group but I never knew them that well to know if they are sincere with him and his feelings and listening to him.But once things have calmed down,I will try to tell him about this thread, I don’t think he uses reddit but then again I didn’t think my Sis would either.But thank you again!I enjoyed seeing you get shut down. Maybe this time it will stick since it didn’t when I said it. By the way when I called to tell Tabi she said I should mention that Gale would still love Mark even if he was disabled in the game, just the way he is, so that says more about you. Call me later.

&

Oh and for the people offering to play games with Mark: thank you. I will tell him about that when I mention the thread after things calm down. But I don’t know if he will reach out to anyone,he has always been shy and Sis had pretty much been his only friend. So this is an adjustment for him as much as his being disabled has been.But I’ll share this and maybe he will!But I think also just knowing people were looking out for him will be more than enough.

OOP responded

You’re not my sister but nice try.

When asked if OOP called yet

No phone call yet! But if she does, I plan on making sure she knows I won’t let this one slide. And I will!I know he likes Gale a lot.He says he’s the only one he can’t be mean to. It makes me happy he seems to have picked a good character to maybe judge a future boyfriend on haha!

EDITOR’S NOTE: the “sister” made a few more comments if you want to look them up

[Update](htt…

Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1dvp0uc/aita_for_telling_my_friend_his_game_is_stupid/