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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2024-07-06 04:01:03+00:00.
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/CatzTheMusical
Originally posted to r/tifu
TIFU by calling my cat pretty.
Original Post: June 28, 2024
I (26M) have a cat, Susan (7F). She is the absolute love of my life. I’ve had her for five years, we had an immediate bond, she’s been with me through thick and thin. I may be biased but she’s also a very pretty cat. She’s a brown and orange calico with a white belly and legs, and she has a very pretty face. I compliment her all the time because I love her so much and I want her to know how much I love her even if she can’t understand English.
My girlfriend (25F), who I will call Liz, and I have been together for about two months now. She’s not the biggest cat person, and Susan is very shy so it’s taken Susan a bit of time to warm up to Liz. She’s not aggressive to Liz or anything. She just hides when Liz comes over, and occasionally she’d peak her head out to see if Liz was gone yet. Lately, Susan’s been coming out more when Liz is over, and she’s even started going to Liz for pets.
Now, whenever Susan comes out when Liz is around, I do turn my attention to Susan so that she has a positive association with Liz. I’ll stop and pet her if she’s close enough, or I just say “Hi, pretty girl!” when she peaks her head out.
That’s not to say I don’t give Liz ample attention when we’re together. I’m seldom on my phone around Liz. I give her lots of physical affection and compliments when appropriate.
Yesterday I had Liz over and we were watching Family Guy together. We were cuddling and just zoned out on the couch together when Susan came out and climbed in my lap. I started petting her and telling her how much I love her, as I usually do.
Here’s where I fucked up: As I was petting Susan and talking to her, I told her she was the most beautiful girl in the world. Liz got up and went to the bathroom, and I didn’t think much of it, even when she was in there for a while. When she came out, she was clearly upset. I asked her what was wrong, and she accused me of being a weirdo who loves his cat more than the “actual human woman” sitting next to him. I was honestly kinda dumbfounded because 1. We haven’t gotten to the “I love you” stage yet and 2. It’s my cat? And I honestly do love Susan more than Liz. Which is something I knew I shouldn’t say in that moment. But also I wasn’t about to lie, or be pressured into saying something I’m not ready to say yet. So I sat there, just staring at Liz for a moment until she huffed, grabbed her keys, and left.
After about an hour, I went to text her to see if she made it home alive, only to find she had blocked me. I was upset, but Susan is incredibly empathetic to me and came running to sit with me.
As of now, Liz still hasn’t unblocked me so I guess I’m single again? Good riddance I guess.
Tl;dr: my girlfriend accused me of loving my cat more than her and probably broke up with me.
Relevant Comments
N3rdScool: Do you tell Liz she is beautiful?
OOP: Literally all the time. I’ve never told her she’s the most beautiful person in the world but I’m a very affectionate person to everyone. And especially her because she is/was my girlfriend.
OOP responds on his healthy relationship with his cat, Susan
OOP: How is it “too far”? Susan’s been there with me through college, moving, break-ups, hospital stays, the death of my father, ETC. Anytime I feel sad, she senses it and comes running to comfort me. I would give anything to this cat.
I do love my cat more than I love a human I’ve known for four months and dated for two 🤷♂️
OOP on naming his cat, Susan
OOP: I named her that because shortly after adopting her and much debate over the name, “Susan” cane to mind, followed immediately by “That’s a terrible name for a cat!” And thus, Susan became Susan.
My pretty girl!: June 28, 2024
Editor’s Note: OOP provided a picture of his cat!
TIFUpdate June 29, 2024
So this was a very interesting way to have spent my Friday night haha.
As a recap, I called my cat, Susan, the most beautiful girl in the world in front of my girlfriend, Liz. Liz got upset and left, and blocked me on everything. For those interested, there’s a picture of Susan on my page.
First, I’d like to say thank you for the comments—I had been kind of beating myself up over the whole incident but yeah, an adult woman being jealous of a cat is not the kind of energy I need in my life. Also I just gotta say I did get a good laugh out of some of the comments but I can assure you all I have a perfectly healthy human-cat relationship with Susan.
I spent the day just kinda going about my life. Around 10, I got a text from none other than Liz herself. She asked if she could come over and talk to me.
For a tiny bit of additional backstory/context: I am bisexual and polyamorous. These are both things about myself that I am VERY up front about, especially with people I’m romantically interested in. When Liz and I met, we bonded over our appreciation of shitty cartoons. She expressed interest first, and I told her my deal. I knew she was bi since we met, and when we sat down to have the conversation that started our relationship, she told me she was in an open relationship with her last partner and was down to do it again. Which, in retrospect, I feel I should’ve been more cautious about, but what can I say, when you see someone through rose-colored glasses, the red flags just look like flags.
Back to tonight, though.
I was torn on having Liz over, because a big part of me is just done, but on the other hand, she is someone I care about. So I gave her the okay to come by for a talk. When she came in, I could tell she was really upset, so I had her sit down and I got her some water.
I don’t want to share too much of what she told me, but there was more to her jealousy of my cat than I originally thought. She opened up about her ex. He was the one who initiated being open, he found another girl to date, he started spending more time with this other girl, and whenever he was around Liz, he’d either be texting her or talking about how great she was. He ended up leaving Liz for this other girl. Liz also said she wants to keep dating me, but she doesn’t want to be polyamorous.
I will say, I did feel a bit of guilt hearing this, because had I known, I would’ve dialed back the verbal love of Susan in front of Liz a little bit. Although I do love Susan more, Susan is indeed a cat. Cats don’t understand language the way humans do, so I’m sure words of affirmation are low on her list of love languages. Meanwhile, Liz is a human who can understand language, and words of affirmation mean a lot to her.
But, the situation with Susan and the conversation with Liz opened my eyes to the fact that we’re not compatible. I’ve tried monogamous relationships a few times, and a majority of them (meaning 2 out of 3) ended because I’m just not wired for that. I have not and will never cheat on anyone I’m dating, I want to make that perfectly clear.
So, I told Liz that, although I care about her and wish her nothing but the best, I can’t be what she needs. She cried, but said she understood.
We had popsicles—I know from experience that having something cold and sweet can be extremely helpful when having big emotions. I did end up telling her about my original post on here, and I let her read it. I was scared to do that, because I know it didn’t paint her in the best light. But she actually laughed and confessed that she felt a little unhinged at being jealous of a cat. I also asked her if I could make an update, and she said it was okay. Our conversation was a lot more in-depth than what I shared (seriously, if there’s a villain in this story, it’s her ex-boyfriend), and she asked that I not share a good majority of it. She gathered a few random things she had at my place, and then she left.
As for Susan, she spent the entire night nestled between us. Liz was petting her a lot, too.
I feel this is probably the best way this situation could’ve ended. I don’t know if Liz is going to remain a part of my life in any significant capacity, but I truly hope she does well and is able to heal. I’m going to text her best friend tomorrow and ask them to check in on her.
TL;DR: My (now officially ex) and I had a good conversation, we both got some closure, and I wish her well.
Relevant Comments
heyitsvonage: I sure wish my ex had been mature enough to admit to herself that she wasn’t cut out for monogamy
I had to find out the hard way
Good luck with everything, give susan pets from all of us
OOP: It is, unfortunately, something I had to learn the hard way. But good thing is now that I know it can save me, and others, a lot of heartache.
Another pic of the prettiest girl in the world!: June 29, 2024
You think YOUR cat is the prettiest girl/handsomest boy in the world? PROVE IT (and share your cat pics)
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP
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