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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/MajkiAyy on 2024-08-19 18:25:29+00:00.

This happened last night.

I’ve always been an incredibly quiet sleeper. I laugh in my sleep sometimes, sure, but that’s pretty much the only exception. When I fall asleep, I do not move around, I do not snore; I barely even breathe.

My wife, conversely, has a tendency to sleepwalk and wake up in a panic.

Recently, I’ve noticed that my nose gets super clogged at night. My wife has been urging me to get myself checked out and see whether I have some sort of medical condition, but I’ve been putting it off because I didn’t see it as a big deal.

My wife, the sweetheart that she is, kept trying to think of ways to ease my discomfort, and eventually recommended nasal spray to help open up my nasal pathways. I thought that was a great idea and tried it. It helped a bit. While trying to fall asleep, I noticed I was breathing a lot better, and that I didn’t have to resort to mouth breathing as much as I usually do at night.

Happy and calm, I drifted into sleep without much of a problem.

Fast forward a bit and I get woken up as my wife has another sleepwalking episode. She stirs and leaps out of bed shouting “Honey, someone was just screaming!”

I’ve seen her do this type of thing a million times. “Honey, there’s a man in the hallway,” “Honey, someone’s painting the walls,” “Honey, there are bugs in the bed.” If you can even theorize it happening to you, my wife has probably woken up fully convinced that it was happening to her.

“Go to bed, there’s no one screaming,” I tell her and get up to move her back to bed. She quietens but remains jittery, looking around. Eventually, we both go back to sleep.

Fast forward a few hours and I get woken up again. “Honey someone was screaming I’m sure of it!” she insists.

“No, honey, nobody is screaming,” I tell her, feeling quite exasperated at getting woken up twice.

“No, I know what I heard,” she says. “I’m not sleepwalking, someone was actually screaming.”

Now, she also does this while sleepwalking. She will act as if she were completely awake and aware and insist that something absurd was happening. But she remains steadfast, demanding that I check the whole apartment and see outside whether something is happening.

I comply, wanting to get it over with and go to sleep.

Fast forward another few hours and my wife wakes up again, swearing up and down she heard a woman screaming. At this point, I was starting to get worried. She had never woken up three times in one night claiming the exact same absurd thing was happening. Still, there was no woman screaming that I could hear, so I calmed her down and we went back to sleep.

This time, I was struggling to fall back asleep. It was already 5 AM, and I’d been woken up so many times that I wasn’t sure that I’d be able to get any more shut-eye that night. So I calm myself, relaxing and steadying my breathing.

Then I heard it.

My nose started whistling.

Now, at first, I was like A-HA! That’s why my wife was waking up all the time! But as I experimented to see whether it would keep happening, the sound kept getting worse. Much worse. When I rolled over to my side and breathed through my nose, it sounded exactly like an Aztec Death Whistle. (You can find it on YouTube)

My wife still wasn’t asleep, so I turned around to look at her and found her glaring at me with a death stare.

I am now being forced to get myself checked out.

TL;DR: I put off getting my nose checked for too long and now it sounds like an Aztec Death Whistle while I sleep, disturbing my wife.