This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/UlverInTheThroneRoom on 2024-08-21 08:17:25+00:00.

This happened a couple weeks ago and it’s pretty embarrassing.

My mom has a younger coworker that she spoke to briefly and mentioned me. Long story short, she added me on Discord and we exchanged some messages. She seemed interesting - we mostly talked about music, hobbies, and in general what we are doing in life. My taste in music is a bit niche and I was surprised she liked some of the same stuff. She’s also artistic which is cool, I admire people that can do things I have no skills in like visual art.

We decided to meet up during the weekend to go see a movie and then go for dinner - this is where I fucked up. I never used the term date and normally I would make that clear when inviting someone but I made the mistake of assuming anyone thinks strangers meeting for a movie and dinner would be a blind date.

So we met at the theater and watched the movie - obviously it’s hard to talk to someone during a movie so we didn’t talk much. When we went for sushi we immediately started talking and we hit it off. The conversation was great and smooth and we both probably shared more than what the average person considers first meeting material. She was extremely attractive and she had a great personality. I was really attracted to her openness and blunt way of communicating. We both laughed a lot and nothing seemed forced, it was like talking to someone I’ve met before. She mentioned she doesn’t want kids and I absolutely don’t want children myself. We finished eating and then we talked for almost another two hours outside until we went our separate ways. She said she wanted to hear me play my instrument which I took as her inviting herself over which seemed like a good sign for a future meeting. She texted me when she got home and said thanks for tonight and such.

So in all my apparent obliviousness I texted her another day and told her I had a great time and I’d be interesting in seeing her again. I offered to make dinner and invited her over and that sort of standard thing. She responded some days later saying that she wasn’t looking for a relationship right now and wasn’t in a position to do so and apologized if she gave that impression. She said she’d still like to hang out or play games though. I was mortified due to the obvious, I thought it was a date the entire time and I was the only one thinking that way.

Now, that’s embarrassing but the problem is I unknowingly fucked up the dynamic. She seemed like a cool person and even after the misunderstanding wants to hang out. I’ve read so many stories of good friends trying to make the jump to a relationship and they ruin it entirely and I’ve already explicitly expressed my interest in someone that wants to be friends. I don’t want to be disingenuous so I just told her obviously I was a bit embarrassed but I’d be down to hang out again. I just feel a bit scummy about it because I already expressed interest.

TL;DR: I’m an idiot and thought that a movie and dinner with a new person was a date. It was not a date and thus, my embarrassment.