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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Chicken_Of_The_Year on 2024-08-21 16:45:08+00:00.

This happened a few years ago, but the embarrassment still haunts me. I had just moved to a new city to start university, and as part of our “Fadderuken” (get to know you-week), all the new students were invited to a local water park for a massive kick-off event. I didn’t know anyone yet, and I figured this was my chance to make an impression. Both to make some friends and impress some of the girls in bikinis (not so often you get that chance in Norway).

Before the main event—a death diving competition—kicked off, we had all been hanging out, getting to know each other, and of course, drinking a few beers. By the time it was my turn to take the leap, I was feeling pretty tipsy, which, in hindsight, was a recipe for disaster considering my IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome).

For those who don’t know, death diving is where you jump off a high platform, spread your arms and legs out like you’re about to land on your belly, and then just before it happens, you curl into a ball just before you hit the water. It’s supposed to look daring and epic, but in my case I got it to turned into a complete nightmare.

Standing at the edge of the platform, I could feel my stomach rumbling ominously. My gut was practically screaming at me to back off, but with a head full of beer and a crowd of students watching (and some of the pretty girls also), I ignored it. I leaped off the platform, arms and legs flung wide, feeling like an absolute champion—until I hit the water.

The impact was like a shockwave through my entire body, and that’s when it happened. The second I hit the water, my bowels decided they’d had enough. It was as if the combination of beer, adrenaline, and my IBS triggered the worst possible reaction. I felt an immediate, warm release, and I knew instantly that I had just crapped myself. Not just a little, but a full-on emptying.

As I surfaced, I could feel the contents of my accident spreading in the water around me. I hoped, “prayed”, that maybe no one would notice (many it wasn’t that noticable), but the looks on everyone’s faces quickly shattered that illusion. The water around me was visibly coloured, and the smell—oh god, the smell— hit almost immediately. People were recoiling, backing away from me like I was some sort of toxic spill.

The realization spread like wildfire through the crowd, and before I knew it, the pool was being “evacuated”. I was left standing there, dripping wet, surrounded by what can only be described as a biohazard, with everyone staring at me in horror and disgust.

I scrambled out of the pool as quickly as I could, my face burning with shame. Any hope of making a good first impression was flushed away—along with the contents of my bowels. If anything, I became infamous for all the wrong reasons, and not exactly the way you want to kick off your university years.

TL;DR: Drank a few beers before a death diving competition at a student kick-off. My IBS decided to betray me mid-jump, and I ended up crapping myself in the pool. The water turned into a cesspool, and everyone was horrified. Not my finest moment.