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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/major_lombardi on 2024-08-22 12:26:37+00:00.

So I (31m) and my fiance (29f) are traveling through Europe having an amazing journey, of course with its bumps in the road like trouble with hotels, but minor things.

About 6 months ago I lost my best friend I hadn’t seen in 5 years or so. I wanted to see him, as I knew his health issues were accumulating and he didn’t have much time left. We grew up with no other friends than each other. Every song I know, game I play, and movie I watch reminds me of him because we did and discovered all of life together.

So why didn’t I see him in those 5 years? Well to be frank, my fiance wasn’t a fan of this friend having met him those 5 years ago when I last saw him.

For context, my fiance and I have been inseparable for our 9 year relationship. So, I really wanted her to come with me to see him before he passed. She didn’t seem as into it. We were on a road trip through the state where he lived about 2 years ago and she didn’t want to stop because we had other family from her side with us and she didn’t want them to feel awkward, which I tried to understand but I felt like I would have just made the journey for her if I was in her shoes.

Anyway, this isn’t AITAH so let me get to my fuckup. I felt that I had been very supportive of seeing her friends that I don’t like, I even offered to let one move in with us when he needed a place to stay. But I felt like she didn’t have the same consideration for my friend (there were other opportunities to see this friend but she would tell me not to drive there due to weather and stuff, which is honestly just her looking out for my safety but I took it as her trying to control me to keep me from seeing my friend).

Anyway, I never really communicated how I felt about all of this when my friend passed. We are on a train right now with some other people on the train too, and while we were talking it just kinda came up and I just started talking about how I feel.

She got very uncomfortable and asked me to stop talking about it. I said that she shouldn’t care as much about other people hearing us as she should about me being destroyed inside. She said “yeah, ok” sort of dismissively and I called her cold and she started to cry and said this is so embarrassing.

I guess I feel like I’m missing my friend a lot since we discovered life together and here I am discovering life with my new best friend, and I got very emotional. I really wanted her to comfort and support me, but she just isn’t that type of person, especially in public. I am so that type of person, so it has been hard for me to realize that she won’t comfort me when I’m feeling this down. I felt like she should be like me when I spent 3 years living with her mom with cancer and wasn’t having fun of course but I saw how important it was to her, so I happily stayed there for those 3 years and was glad we could spend so much time with her mom before she passed.

This isn’t AITAH because neither of us are. I’m just sad and I asked her if we are OK and she said she’s not sure. I love her more than anything and I feel like I should have waited to communicate, but honestly I just don’t think she’s the type of person to receive that type of communication well. She doesn’t really talk about her feelings about her mom passing but I cry all the time over little things and seek comfort from her, which she often does provide when it doesn’t feel like I’m attacking her.

I’m just so sad inside. I lost my best friend and now it feels like I might lose another because I can’t get over the first one.

TL;DR: my fiance is embarrassed that I overshared feelings about her not supporting me grieving a dead friend on a very public train and idk what to do to fix it. This is my first ever post on social media of any kind and I wouldn’t have made it if I didn’t feel the most extreme sadness I’ve ever felt right now. Any advice?