This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/TomrummetsKald on 2024-09-04 03:16:01+00:00.

This is way back in 2012… But it still feels so damn good to think about.

We had just moved in to our new house, in a small and nice, but not posh, neighborhood. Our neighbor “Betty” was aggravated from the very beginning.

She had a perfect view of the neighborhood playground, (as did we) but she really hated the fact that kids would enjoy themselves on said playground.

In the first 2 months of us being there, she called the cops on the kids playing 3 times. Needless to say the officers were not very content with her either. But every time she would say something about drugs, violence etc. IE force the police to take action.

I finally confronted her and told her that the kids had every right to play there, and that she should get her sh*t together or move out to the country.

She then went on a toddlers tirade, and said that she would hire a “private investigator” to keep an eye on things as she had “other, more important things to do, anyway”.

Keep in mind that Betty was a senior citizen - so of course my conscience would not allow me to have her pay for such an inconvenience.

Luckily for her, my brother in law was just out of a job and needed something to pay the bills. And as I had set out to make my neighbor as happy as possible, I thought I could get two birds with one stone.

So I rang him up, and within two days we had set up the new company “Tommy’s PI office ”. My BIL is a bit scruffy looking, wearing mostly overalls and crocs, but I figured he would be perfect for the job as no-one would suspect him being a PI. I then went along and got him a company car, (as he might have to pursue the 10yo’s playing on the swings and dealing heroin in their spare time)

Luckily we found this magnificent beast, which would be perfect for a good long stakeout:

Fortunately for me I got a family discount, so I didn’t have to put down a lot in wages, and the hearse was just over a 1000 bucks.

So we placed Tommy and his new company-hearse in front of Betty’s house (public road). So she would no longer have to worry about keeping an eye on the small criminals across the street.

Within 2 weeks, she finally got enough of people “checking in on her”, and politely asked Tommy if he would give up his stakeout. We didn’t get more complaints after that.