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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Ragnaarock93 on 2024-09-14 11:51:37+00:00.

As is customary this was not today, but around 10ish years ago when McDonald’s was running a promotion in which, if you were lucky enough, your meal would be absolutely free upon one condition. All you had to do was tell someone, “I love you” 

Now let’s backtrack and I somehow end up with a job working in retail and I literally had to run through hundreds of simulations in my mind just to be able to greet a person walking through the door. With my new found confidence I was able to greet customers and assist them in finding whatever it is they needed. Through my endless simulations I was able t become one of the top sellers in the store. 

There were lots of commercials on TV about this McDonald’s promotion, but I never paid it too much mind, reserving my mind simulations for more pressing matters. One day, I decide to go to McDonald’s during my lunch break. Since I worked at a store located in a large outdoor outlet it was quite busy. I used my time waiting in line to decide if I wanted to go with the ol’reliable McChicken, McDouble, and a sweet tea combo, or if I would try a new set meal that was just released. 

The cashier was a lovely lady and when I got to the register I went with ol’reliable. When I went to pay she drops an absolute bomb on me. She tells me about their current promotion and says I’ll get a free meal if I just say I love you to someone. My brain instantly kicks into overdrive. There are people waiting behind me but I need to run through my simulations.

Will I be a normal person and just call my Mom or Dad? No, that seems too Plain toast. Also, because of a relatively recent situation, I’d rather not tell either of them that I loved them at that moment.

I then think of my brother, but he works a night shift and I don’t know if he would be awake. I wouldn’t want to bother him.

What if I used this as an opportunity to tell my crush I love them. What am I an idiot? Think of how that could potentially destroy my whole life.

There are people waiting in line, think faster. If time is an issue then I’ll just tell the cashier I love her. 

What and involve a completely innocent person in this embarrassing situation? I think not. Time keeps turning and the gears in my head just keep slipping. Nothing seems to be getting done.

I scan the room in a panic thinking I can just tell some person I love you. Nope, not happening. I reach into my pocket pulling out my phone. I unlock my phone, my hands shaking. I scroll up and down my contacts list consisting of basically no one. Things are looking bleak, I’m hoping for a missile to come crashing down to erase my existence from the earth.

It feels as if an eternity is passing and I can feel that the cashier is starting to suspect that something isn’t right. 

Oh geez is it getting hot in here? My brain decides to shut off and I must have been as red as a tomato when the cashier finally offers me some solace and tells me everything is fine and I can just go sit down and I don’t have to tell anyone I love them. 

Thus ends the creation of a core memory that decides to haunt me whenever I start to feel comfortable with who I have become. 

TL;DR Decided to eat at McDonald’s and nearly died from embarrassment after “winning” a free meal.