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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/No_Lavishness_3910 on 2024-09-14 15:26:48+00:00.

This happened a week ago, and I still can’t get over it.

I’ve been looking for a good math tutor for a while now, and I finally found one on Reddit. Like, a tutor that’s actually patient, understanding and teaches the why rather than just the how.

The only problem is I get anxious in front of guys. Doesn’t matter if I’m attracted to them or not, I just do. Which is fine, but when paired with my ibs - it’s just not a good combo.

Cut to our class. He’s explaining something about calculus or some shit, I don’t fucking know because all I’m focused on is holding it in. I had McDonalds like an hour before class, and of course the fact that he’s male wasn’t helping either. At that moment I was paralyzed.

Then I had an epiphany - I remembered watching this one meme about hiding your farts in class. “If I make a loud noise and fart at the same time, I’ll be good”, I thought to myself. No, I didn’t think to “mute the call” or “excuse myself for the bathroom”. Logic? Reasoning? That’s for pussies. So I sit there, psyching myself up, thinking of all the motivational speakers I scroll past on TikTok.

“No time like the present” I think to myself before coughing as loud as humanly possible. My tutor instantly stops in the middle of explaining whatever he was explaining. We make eye contact. Time freezes. Silence.

As I stare into his soul I let out the biggest, loudest, most diabolical fart I’ve ever heard in my life. Fuck a car engine, Henry Ford came back from the dead to pat me on the back for doing his invention justice. That shit dropped like Hiroshima and revved for about 15 seconds like a ferrari on adderall. I still have hearing damage from that night man. That shit got me fucked up.

After all the commotion ends my tutor cracks a smile right before I immediately leave the session. Best believe I wasn’t sticking around to find out if he smelt it all the way in Dubai or wherever he’s at.

The problem is though, like I didn’t embarrass myself enough already, I realized not soon afterwards how it must’ve looked like from his perspective. From his eyes he was just explaining a topic passionately before the girl he was teaching interrupts him with a cough, farts, then promptly leaves. I wanna die.

TLDR: My poor math tutor got ass blasted to the nth dimension. I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die