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The original was posted on /r/nosleep by /u/adorabletapeworm on 2024-09-25 22:54:14+00:00.

Previous case

When it comes to hags, they’re a bit of a mixed bag. Some are revered for their wisdom while others are able to be tricked by two little German children into getting inside of their own ovens. Whether they’re smart or stupid, one thing they all seem to have in common is the capacity to harness immense power. 

The Cookie Hag appeared to be no exception to this. As such, the boss determined that it would be too dangerous for either organization to deal with her alone. As such, he invited the Hunters to meet with us to discuss how to proceed. 

To my surprise, Iolo had agreed to it. 

(If you’re not familiar with what Orion Pest Control’s services are, it may help to start here.)

When the boss announced this meeting before the Wild Hunt arrived, Cerri and Wes had two very different reactions. Cerri blinked at us, calmly asking if we had an extra hagstone laying around. At that point, we didn’t, but Deirdre was on a mission to remedy that. As such, our newest employee announced that she would be hanging next to Reyna during the meeting. 

Wes, on the other hand, seemed a little excited. For whatever reason, he’s been fixing to fight the Hunters, Iolo in particular. I can understand wanting to smack the mechanic in the face, but coming from someone that spars with him daily, doing so is much easier said than done. While I don’t doubt that Wes would be able to handle himself better than a human could… we didn’t need any workplace casualties. Especially since we just hired the guy.  

He promised he’d ‘be good’ during the meeting but his smile was telling a completely different story. 

Victor gave him The Glare, telling him flatly, “You’re staying by me the whole time.”  

“I’m not going to do anything.” Wes defended himself. 

“I don’t trust you! Get over here!”

The Dubnos Towing truck pulled up first. The moment she saw it, Reyna slowly slid down into her chair as if trying to disappear. A few seconds later, that familiar blue truck joined it. The two Hunters stopped to chitchat in the parking lot as they waited on their third. 

Eyes huge as she watched the two jagoffs share a laugh about something, Cerri whispered, “It’s one thing to read about them, but it’s another thing to see them, you know?”

Wes tested his luck by leaning a little too far from where Vic could grab him if he tried to get aggressive. He commented, “Nessa, you weren’t kidding about Briar looking like a Tik Toker.”

“Get your ogling out now,” Victor said. “Because when they walk in, they’re most likely going to try to get into your heads. You’re going to want to avoid eye contact as much as possible.”

The Huntress finally showed up in a white van emblazoned with McLeod Electric on the side. She didn’t have her dogs with her this time. 

Iolo waltzed in first, all smiles, in stark contrast to Victor, who looked like he’d rather be pulling out his own fingernails than hosting this meeting. In all honesty, I was just as enthusiastic as the boss was, after my last encounter with the mechanic. I know Deirdre couldn’t feel it, but the sight of his fingers moving under her skin had haunted me for days afterwards. 

When he tried to introduce himself to Cerri, subtly trying to catch her eye, she stared at the floor, politely saying, “Nice to meet you, but I don’t have a name to give you.”

“Leave her alone,” I told him, stepping between them. “We’re supposed to be working together.”

He snickered, “Relax, Fiona! Just makin’ nice.”

Yeah, sure you are. Asshole.

Thankfully, he did back off. From that point on, Cerri didn’t dare take her eyes off of the ground. 

Initially, he didn’t acknowledge Wes whatsoever, despite the vampire openly glowering at him. Victor noticed and gave his newest employee a harsh nudge, which didn’t escape Briar’s notice. 

The Hunter sneered, looking Wes up and down, “Someone needs housebroken, it seems.”

“Not the time.” The Huntress reminded him curtly, crossing her arms as she regarded us with cold eyes. 

Iolo smirked, giving Briar a smack on the shoulder before helping himself to one of the donuts we set out, “Save the dick measuring contest for later, boys. We got business to attend to.”

Victor agreed, "Yes, we do.”

I started off what was going to be a long discussion with, “Right off the bat, I need to be bait, since the Cookie Hag will only be expecting me. If she thinks I’m going to accept her offer, she’ll sit still. At least, she did when the Weeper and I met with her that first time.”

Iolo’s eyes narrowed slightly when I passively brought Deirdre up, but he had the self-control not to interrupt. 

I continued, “I don’t know if she’d be smart enough to know if I brought a decoy. My mom did trick her with a gumdrop, after all. But we only have one shot at this and with what she did to the False Tree, I don’t want to take any chances.”

Iolo thoughtfully picked a sprinkle off of his donut, saying, “Willin’ to spare somethin’. But I expect it back in one piece.”

“So where does that leave the rest of us?” Reyna dared to ask. 

“Y’all just get the hag in one spot, we’ll take care o’ the rest.” The mechanic replied nonchalantly. 

“And if you guys can’t handle it?” Wes challenged, earning The Glare from Victor once again. 

With a snort, Briar responded, “Sounds suspiciously like you’re trying to start something, boy.”

“What my colleague is trying to say,” Victor replied, giving Wes another stern look. “Is that the hag shouldn’t be taken lightly by any of us. We all saw the devastation she can cause.”

The Huntress finally spoke up, addressing me, “Dog of Orion, did you notice any weaknesses in particular during your visit with the witch?”

For the record, I still hate that that’s their nickname for me. 

“She was vulnerable to the Weeper’s hagstone.” I answered, internally bristling. “Her enchantment over me broke in its presence.”

The mechanic nodded slowly, considering, “Might be best for y’all to join us after all. Salt and hagstones don’t really agree with us much.” 

“We should take care of this sooner rather than later.” Victor suggested. 

Iolo smirked at him, “And here I was thinkin’ we’d never agree on anything!”

“Likewise,” Victor replied stiffly. “Tonight work for you?”

“Sure does!”

From there, plans were developed further. To summarize, I was to bring the fiddle into the forest to draw the witch out. The Wild Hunt would do what they do best and track me down with the other Orion employees in tow, armed with as much salt and whatever hagstones Deirdre could obtain. Once we were done, we’d reconvene at the mechanic’s shop. And if we got separated somehow, that was our established meeting spot. 

All in all, it went better than I’d thought it would. 

When the mechanic brought me out to his truck to give me the fiddle, he annoyingly pulled it away just as my fingertips brushed the handle, the intensity of his gaze at odds with his playful expression, “Remember what I said?”

“‘Bring it back to you in one piece.’” I drawled, holding a hand out impatiently. “I know.”

He winked, letting me grab the handle this time. I wouldn’t learn what that was about until much later. 

The rest of the day went by in a blur as I anticipated what awaited us all later that day. Termites. Roaches. Flies. Work was filled with infestations that were mind-numbingly easy to deal with. My body did the work while my brain took a back seat.

Time didn’t resume normally until I stopped at home briefly before the sun set. Dierdre was waiting for me, a small pile of hagstones resting on my coffee table. She really outdid herself. There were enough that we even had backups. Just had to reinforce them with clear resin and they’d be ready to go.  

“I suppose I owe you a favor now?” I asked with a small smile. 

She grinned coyly, beckoning to me with a finger, “As a matter of fact, you do!”

She’d said that she can’t feel it when we kiss, but that certainly doesn’t seem to stop her from wanting to do it any less.

When we broke apart, I admitted, “I’m kind of scared. For tonight, I mean.”

Stroking my cheek comfortingly, she assured me, “If anyone can do this, it’s you. And you’ve got some great people behind you, as well.”

Dread already had my heart gripped firmly in its cold fist. Not just because of who Orion was going to be working with, but also because I just knew that we weren’t  going to make it out unscathed. Call it foresight, call it anxiety. Either way, I wish I’d been wrong. 

The sun was setting. My heart was racing. It was time.

With the mechanic’s violin case in hand, I set out, sending out a silent prayer to anyone that would listen to help me make it home afterwards. I also sent my phone’s location to my coworkers on the off-chance that the Hunters couldn’t find me.

When I arrived at the dark trees, I promised myself that I wasn’t going to die that night. No matter what, I would not die. Not after Mom had already risked her life to save me from the Cookie Hag once before. Not while knowing that failure would spell disaster for humans and Neighbors alike.

I would not die.  

The hagstone rattled against my collarbone. Eyes in the trees. Crows. The crows were tailing me. One thrust its beak at me as it cawed angrily, unable to get past the stone’s repulsion. 

Of course. If I had a actually stolen the instrument from the mechanic, there would be Lesser Hunters cha…

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