This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/nosleep by /u/keanojeano on 2024-09-30 16:22:38+00:00.
I was waiting for the tram on a cold, dreary evening. A light drizzle did little more than mildly annoy as stray droplets of rain stung my face as a cool breeze washed them away. I sat at the stop, earphones in, blasting music, drowning myself in noise so that the silence would never creep in. I dreaded silence. The silence that would allow my own thoughts to run rampant. Every new thought mingling into the cacophony of voices. Every past mistake, every current detail, and every future outcome coming together in a melting pot of overcomplication and anxiety until it all comes full circle, and the overwhelming noise turns into a deafening blanket of silence once more.
And, I dreaded how comfortable I could come to grow in that blanket of silence.
The tram approached, its headlights illuminating the surrounding grey, the sound of it grinding to a halt barely penetrating the music blasting in my ears. Its doors slid open, beckoning me in. I stood up and received its welcome as I stepped into the third-most car from the front. There was a middle aged bloke sitting at the back of the car, clearly in a stupor from knocking back one too many, a lady a bit further up than me that seemed exhausted - the baby carrier containing a wailing child next to her no doubt the culprit, and a group of teenage boys at the front-end of the car clamored around each other in high spirits over their impending bar crawl.
Then the man entered from the same door I just came through.
‘Strange, I was the only one at that stop. He must have just barely made it,’ I thought to myself.
The man swaggered in, hands thrust in his pockets as his shoulders swayed with confidence. He had a disheveled look about him, but not in an entirely unappealing way. His dark oak coloured hair was roughed up in a way that seemed intentional. His dusty brown leather jacket heavily worn along with the dull checkered shirt beneath it, and his dark blue jeans tattered through years of wear. His heavy boots clicked with every step as he made his way to sit directly opposite me. Leaning comfortably against the backrest, hands still in his pockets, legs splayed out and chin upturned as he scanned the car.
‘What a character,’ my inner monologue chimed in.
A beep broke up my music. I looked down at my phone, only to see that my earphones were running on 5 percent battery.
‘Shit.’
I cursed the forced obsolescence of wired earphones with most modern smartphones, realising I would have to stew in silence for the majority of the 15 minute tram ride.
I looked back up from my phone, only to see the man’s eyes fixed on me. Pure intent and scrutiny glaring at me through the snake-like slits of eyes.
‘Great, and there’s a fucking weirdo that might just kill me sitting right in front of me.’
I dodged direct eye contact with him, glancing off to his sides hoping it would deter him from sizing me up like his next meal. Yet I could still feel it in my peripherals. His scorching hot stare burning its way into me.
3 minutes would pass until my earphones bit the bullet, and I was forced to confront the reality in front of me.
Still dodging the infernal gaze from the man, I attempted to eavesdrop on the teens. It was mostly about how hammered they planned on getting, how fine this one girl one of them was trying to get with was - the standard fare. An occasional burst of crying from the child or unconscious belch from the middle aged bloke would serve as a welcome reprieve. Yet behind it all, there was the man. Unmoving. Unflinching. Unwavering, as he seemed to await the meeting of our eyes. It got to the point where I was about to meet his eyes head on, just to see what he had to say, if anything at all. A morbid curiosity overcame me, yet I resisted. This man was the epitome of stranger danger.
“Hey, you.”
His voice, hushed yet booming, resounded off the walls of the car in a way that made it sound like it came from every direction at once. It’s like he had spoken directly to my psyche. My eyes were pulled towards his, some intangible force compelling them to do so. I couldn’t blink nor could I look away, no matter how hard I tried to pull my eyes away from his. In that moment, it felt as though it was just me and him. The banter between the boys, the cries of the child, and the drunken babbles of the bloke - all gone. It felt like I had been transported into some strange pocket dimension.
His eyes relaxed a little, and were now accompanied with a wry smile
“Finally got your attention, have I?”
His voice was soft but intense, understanding but demanding. Everything about this man seemed to contradict itself. And in that moment, I seemed to be entirely his as my world consisted of his beady, red-hot orbs boring into me.
“You’re one of those strange ones, aren’t you? I have been doing this countless years, and I have peered into the depths of many a man’s soul. I see their lust for power, their lust for control, and well, their lust outright. Selfish men. Depraved men. Spiteful men. Everyone has their demons.”
The man leaned in, elbows resting on his knees as he rested his chin against his knuckles.
“But you… You’re a breed seldom seen, growing in popularity over the years. You yearn for… Nothing. To be clear, it’s not as if you aren’t wanting for anything. The thing you yearn for is quite literally Nothing. The sudden annihilation of existence itself.”
The man was not wrong.
“Well, I can give you exactly that.”
He snapped his fingers, and with its echoes my surroundings ceased to exist. I was suddenly floating in nothingness. An infinite abyss; a total vacuum. As I floated I could feel my physical self dissipate, dissolving into the warm-yet-cold soup of nothingness. I could feel nothing, yet everything, all at once. I looked around. I had no body. I had no need for eyes, as there was nothing to see. No need for ears, as there was nothing to hear. No need for a mouth, as there was nothing to say. Just my consciousness, letting the currents of the ocean of Nothing take me where it pleases. The silence did not feel like silence. Silence invited the noise to flood my thoughts, barraging me until it beat me into submission. Yet now, this silence was peaceful - a true silence, where the overcomplications, the overanalysations, the overthinking was all truly silenced as well. He was right. This is what I yearned for.
What is there to worry about, when there is nothing at all?
From the darkness, two fiery specks of light lit up in the distance, followed by the man’s voice. I had been returned to the tram, the man still seated right in front of me.
“That was just a glimpse, my friend.”
He extended his hand towards me, palm outstretched.
“This will be to seal the deal.”
I was prepared to do it. To shake his hand, to make this deal with what I could only fathom as the Devil himself.
It was a moment of silence that lasted long enough for the noise to creep in. But the noise wasn’t that of discord, as it usually was. It was a harmonious birdsong. Memories of pleasant breezes and sunny days - memories of laughter, of joy, shared between family and friends. Happiness. Happiness that would disappear along with everything else. My own happiness, as well as the peoples’ I had shared it with, along with every person to have ever existed. It was in that moment that I realised it wasn’t my right to take that away. As much as I hated the noise, as much as I hated the gnawing, grating feeling always eating away at me, there were things I loved just as much.
“I refuse.”
The man pulled his hand back. There was no look of disappointment on his face. Instead, the corners of his mouth pulled into a little smile, and he retreated back into his chair.
“Good choice. I see that I helped you come to terms about something. Well, so long. Don’t say the Devil never did you any favours.”
He stood up from his chair, gestured his hand in a smug wave, and thrust them back into his pockets. I still couldn’t move. I was still focusing on where his eyes had been, and still felt that magnetic pull towards there. It was like time was frozen. He ambled out of my peripheral view, and with that, out of existence itself.
“Farewell, and may we never meet again.”
Time came back to its usual flow. I could move. I was exhausted. I crashed into the backrest of my seat, gasping for air. The mother looked at me, concerned, while the boys continued to laugh amongst each other, and the drunk bloke at the back continued to sleep. The mother scooched over to me and laid her hand on my shoulder, asking if I was alright. I said it was nothing to worry about, as if I hadn’t just said no to a deal with the Devil himself. A deal that would have ceased all of existence itself.
I was the last to leave the tram. I got home, and called my family back home. I let them know how much I loved them, and went to bed shortly after. I slept in the silence, but the noise never came.
Today, I sit here, in a park. It’s a sunny yet breezy day. The birds sing their song. The squirrels scamper around. People walking by, their own lives chugging along. Their own troubles, their own triumphs, their own experiences. In this park alone, there was so much of everything. I had learned how to be content, by just being. All of this happening while I write this now on my notes app: my experience with the man who offered me Nothing.
And should this man ever approach you with a similar offer, please, do not say yes. There is so, so much more to life than you think.