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Alien Divers Terrified After Dormant Human Battleship Reactivates

By: Douglass (Writer for Starbound)

Rumor has it that my final job as an ordnance disposal technician was the only failure in my immaculate career, but I consider it the most successful event in my long life.

It all started when I stepped out of the ship, the greeting party awaiting me on the ground. The first thing I noticed about the Aquidians was their iridescent scales that shimmered in hues of green and blue. The most eye-catching feature was their exosuits. These weren’t just for protection; they were designed with built-in hydration systems and specialized joints, allowing water creatures to move across solid terrains.

One of them left his group and approached me; a digitized voice emanated from a speaker in his exosuit, “I am Oni, the cluster leader of this province. It’s my honor to have the best ordnance disposal technician in the galaxy at our service!”

I was slightly annoyed that they didn’t refer to me by name, but I had long since accepted that once you are known as the best at something, that’s what you will be remembered for. Swallowing my annoyance, I replied, “You can call me Kimo. I will be happy to help your species rid this planet of those old human weapons.”

The decision to grant this planet to their species was a contentious one. Some, myself included, believed more time was needed for this planet to heal. Regardless, I was there to assist them in making this flying rook a suitable living place for their species.

I saw my task as important because the Aquidians were a species that had only recently joined the galactic stage, foolishly young and too eager to get a second planet, willing even to get this rock that no one else wanted. I noticed this when Oni spoke for a second time, “We appreciate your concern, Kimo, but this is not a deadly rock. The previous owners, the humans, are a land-walking species like yours. Their landmines and hidden silos are a menace to the land, but we have plenty of time to deal with those challenges since we’ll be living deep in the beautiful oceans.”

My sense of duty screamed in panic after hearing such an atrocious statement. Didn’t the Aquidians get a copy of galactic history? The humans were great fighters on land, in the air, underwater, and even in space. Their ships were famous for being so overengineered that they could withstand even the harsh atmospheric conditions of gas giants, and that was at the time of the war. In the present, there were rumors of ships grazing the stars and surviving to tell the tale.

I raised my voice, “Cluster leader Oni, this is the kind of mentality that can cause an accident. Didn’t your species hear what the Avians had to say about how human weapons fare in atmospheric warfare? Or what the pirates said after attempting to escape into space from the humans? Why does your species think the water is any different?”

Most of my experience dealing with disposing of human ordnance took place on land, but the patterns of human weapons are all the same no matter the environment—they were built to last, and the safety features tend to fail before the destructive potential fades.

Cluster leader Oni’s eyes widened inside his exosuit, and I watched as countless bubbles formed in the water he was breathing. “With all due respect, Kimo. No one knows the water better than us. We learned how to deactivate their old sea mines before we requested your help. We’re concerned about the weapons near the shore, not the ones submerged underwater. Those on the shore are the ones that destroyed a ship that landed in the wrong place; they are a threat to every species that visits our new planet.”

If I had heard such foolishness when I was young, I might have walked back to my ship, never offering my help to such a stupid species again. But with age came understanding, and through repeated interactions with the young and messy uplifted species, a certain trace of empathy appeared in my heart instead of anger.

“If this is the choice of your species, I will respect it,” I said. “Give me time and a competent team, and I promise that all your shores will be clean of human weapons in less than a standard cycle.”

The bubbles on Cluster Leader Oni’s visor ceased, his voice also sounding calmer. “Besides being the best at your job, you are also understanding. It’s truly a privilege to have you in our new home. You will have your team soon. Your authority over the land operations will be higher than most cluster leaders; I believe this is for the best for the future of our species.”

Not knowing which gesture to use for the Aquidians, I deflated my fur like a proper Uczin and said, “Cluster leader Oni, if you allow me one last recommendation, please hear what I have to say. Your species might be capable of deactivating the sea mines, but please never allow yourselves to get careless with them. Also, if you ever find anything that looks different, you must alert me before attempting anything. When discarding human weapons, don’t touch what you know, and stay far from what you don’t.”

Some bubbles appeared again inside the visor of Cluster Leader Oni’s exosuit. “You keep the shores clean, Kimo, and we’ll take care of the water. You landwalkers will never understand how much we can do in the beautiful world of the deep trenches.”

My empathy wavered briefly when Cluster Leader Oni abruptly left our conversation, joining the others who leaped into the water. Luckily, that was the first and final glimpse I had of him for quite a while.

As time passed, I grew fond of the young species. My brief period with the Aquidians felt almost like my training with the humans. However, this time, the tables turned—I found myself in the role of the instructor.

Guiding the newcomers through the nuances of landmine safety was not a tedious task. My greatest frustration was failing to make them believe that the humans would remove the landmines themselves if requested—the war that the humans won against the two most ferocious warriors of the old federation had earned them a bad reputation.

I also blame the fear the Aquidians felt about the humans on the incompetence of their leaders. Even though the only reason someone like me had a job was because of the reluctance many young species had about getting the humans involved with their business, they were afraid humanity was similar to the other warrior species who would get violent after someone looked at them the wrong way.

It was when I was planning an open class to change this mentality that the first incident on the planet happened.

It was night, the ocean breeze ruffled the makeshift curtains of my shoreside office as I prepared my notes for the class. I was engrossed in my datapad, finalizing the lesson plan, when the door slammed open with a bang. A digitized voice, disembodied from the exosuit now standing in the doorway, cut through the salty air. “Master Kimo, we need you to come with us. Now.”

I recognized who was behind the exosuit, “What happened, Enix?”

He hesitated briefly before spilling the beans, “Cluster Leader Oni didn’t want you to know, but we found a giant metallic structure deep in the trenches. It was doing nothing besides heating the water around it. But when we tried to drill a tiny hole into its shell, the whole thing came to life, and now we lost track of the enormous structure moving around the ocean floor.”

A giant metallic structure on the ocean floor? Heating the water around it? My memory instantly went back to the list of weapons the humans shared after the end of the war. An inactive metallic structure on the ocean floor—likely an AI-driven submarine. The surrounding hot water suggests nuclear propulsion. Now, the mystery: Is its armament also nuclear?

“I need to contact the humans.”

My hands were already moving to find the contact of the highest-ranking human I knew when Enix said, “Look, Master Kimo!”

He was pointing toward the ocean, and when I looked through the window, I saw groups of orange flames ascending from the ocean. They were just dots of light at this distance, but when they touched the clouds, rushing towards the upper atmosphere, I already knew the answer to my fear—it was not just the propulsion that was nuclear.

Enix and I went outside together, finding no more traces of launches from the ocean. The silence was unnerving. I could only look into the sky, wondering if my countless cycles of care and flawless disposal of weapons would come to an end at the scaled hands of some idiots who played with what they shouldn’t.

“What do we do now, Master Kimo?” asked Enix.

I only stared at the sky. “Nothing.”

I don’t remember the exact thoughts that went through my mind in those silent moments. But I remember with precision my reaction to the blinding lights that turned darkness into light in the center of the continental land—I felt truly grateful that the only species living on this rock were water dwellers.

The land shook next, and a shockwave hit us. Enix did not really understand how close to our doom we got, but sometimes, as the humans say, ignorance is a blessing. He even got his little moment of happiness when he realized that the shockwaves were…

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