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The original was posted on /r/nosleep by /u/GN0515_ on 2024-10-05 03:48:29+00:00.

“Thanks for letting me stay here,” I said as I walked through the door. I needed a break from my roommate. He and his girlfriend of the last six weeks had gotten into yet another argument. And there were only two possible outcomes: something would be thrown across the room, or hours of fucking. Neither which I wanted to deal with.

“You practically begged me,” TJ replied, a sandy-haired man with green eyes about my age and height. He closed the door and led me into the living room. “I don’t usually have people over.”

“Well, if I knew you lived like this, I would have asked sooner,” I replied, comparing my tiny apartment in a college town to TJ’s comfortable home. Judging by the clean brick exterior, spacious front yard, and hardwood floors, he must have lived quite comfortably, considering we had the same job.

“Eh, it’s alright. I’ve lived here since I was a kid,” TJ said. “I’m going out on a date tonight, but help yourself to anything in the fridge. I have just about every streaming service, so watch whatever.”

“Awesome. I seriously appreciate it, dude.”

“Yeah, I only have one rule,” TJ instructed. “If you see someone in a raccoon suit outside, don’t let him in.”

“What?” I chuckled, thinking he was joking. But his serious expression puzzled me. “You’re messing with me, right?”

“No, not at all. If you see someone in a raccoon suit, don’t let him in the house,” he replied sternly, grabbing his keys from the coffee table. “It hasn’t happened in a while, but occasionally he comes around and can be a pain.”

“Okay, that’s kind of weird.”

“I know, but if you see a guy dressed in a raccoon suit, do not let him in,” TJ reiterated as he headed to the front door. “I’ll be gone for a few hours, and he’s been coming around less and less, so you’ll be fine.”

“If I do see him, should I call the cops?”

“No, it’s not that serious. Just call or text me. I can shoo him away pretty easily,” TJ replied. “I don’t want to get the cops involved.”

“Okay…” I said, still feeling confused. He had to be joking with me, as he gave me a gentle wave and walked out the door. locking it behind him. I looked out the window to see him pull away, it was starting to get dark, as I turned around and settled myself into a nice plush couch. 

–

It was nearly two hours since TJ had left. I was comfortably settled, watching an HBO documentary about the Crazy Chimp Lady. It was hard to believe someone could be so unhinged.

Suddenly, a bright white light filled the window. It looked like a spotlight. As I approached, I saw shadows of trees, bushes, and other objects on the manicured lawn. The light itself felt like one of those used on escaped prisoners in the movies. It was a bit overkill, but something else was out there, and I couldn’t believe it.

A man dressed in a raccoon suit.

The light highlighted the stains, tears, and haggard look of his body suit. The head was worse: one ear dangled, the mouth part was covered in various colors. It looked as if the suit had never been washed or for that matter taken off.

“What the hell is this?” I said as its head turned towards me. It waved childishly before walking towards the house. I backed away from the window, my mouth agape.

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

I stood in the living room, peering down the hall to the foyer. I saw the ragged ear from the small window of the door. It knocked again, more forcefully. 

“Heeeeeeeeeeeeellooooooooo, I know you are in there,” a male voice said, trying to sound cartoonish and cute. “I’m just a talking raccoon. Won’t you let me come in so we can have an amazing adventure together!”

“What?” I yelled in confusion as he began to scratch lightly on the door. I took a couple of steps into the hallway. “Listen, you just need to go away.”

“It’s been so long since I had an adventure buddy,” he screeched as he continued to scratch. “I promise we will have lots of fun together, but you have to let me in.”

“I’m not letting you in!”

“Don’t you want to have lots of fun?”

“Hell no,” I screamed. “TJ said not to let you in.”

“TeeJay?” he said, overemphasizing the name as he began pawing at the window. “Me and him go so far back. We used to go on adventures together. Oh boy, they were so much fun!”

“Seriously, go away.” 

“Boo-hoo, boo-hoo, you’re making me sad,” he replied, sniffing dramatically. “I’m just a talking raccoon who wants to go on adventures, and you’re just a big meanie genie.”

“I’m done here,” I shouted. “Go away, I’m not talking anymore.”

“Fine!” he yelled back before a heavy thud shook the door, as if he had kicked it in anger. It became silent as the ears slowly retreated. I stood there silently, waiting to see if anything else would happen, but after a few moments, it was eerily quiet.

I returned to the living room, my phone on the coffee table. I considered calling 9-1-1 but decided to text TJ instead. Perhaps I’d scared him off? Hesitating, I set my phone down.

Sitting nervously on the couch, I clenched my jaw, my stomach churned, and my legs jittered. I watched the chimp show, but something gnawed at me. I kept glancing at my phone, torn about calling TJ.

Then I heard it: scratching.

I grabbed my phone and looked toward the foyer. The sound wasn’t from there. It was coming from elsewhere in the house. My mind raced as I followed the sound down a hallway with three doors. The scratching grew more frantic.

I passed the first door on the right, gently opening it to reveal a spotless bathroom. The sound didn’t originate there. I turned to the left, opening the door slowly as the scratching intensified. The room was dark. I fumbled for the light switch, finding it eventually. The bedroom was immaculate.

Stepping back out, I heard a voice, “Hellooooooooo, new friend!” I walked over to the door, pushing it open to reveal a dark room with a silhouette in the window. I found the light switch and turned it on. He stood outside, looking at me.

But that wasn’t what shocked me.

Inside the room, crude drawings littered the walls. Finger paints and crayon scribbles showing two figures: one with yellow hair and the other a raccoon standing on two legs. Some showed them holding hands, smiling, or playing childish games. Others, more disturbing, showed the boy frowning and the raccoon crying.

“Seeeee, me and TeeJay, the two of us go way back,” he chatted. “We were the best of best friends!”

“Okay?”

“Now me and you can be best best best best friends,” he added, tapping gently on the window. “Now can I please come in, oh pretty please?

“No, TJ said do not let you in!” 

“You don’t know TeeJay like I do,” he prodded. “He used to be such a fun boy, but then he changed. Something happened to him.”

“You’re not coming into the house, now go away!”

“He became a cruel cruel boy, and my adventure buddy became so dark,” he continued while waving his hand around the window. “You see it here in this room, don’t you?” 

“I don’t care,” I insisted as he put down his hand, suddenly becoming silent for a moment. Even with the raccoon head, I could feel his stare boring right through me, leaving my stomach in knots.

“He will hurt you like he hurt me,” he replied, his voice with a light tremble. “But if you let me in, I won’t let anyone, especially TeeJay, hurt my new best friend.” 

"My mind raced, the absurdity of it all impossible. This had to be some sick joke, and there was only one person who would do something like this. ‘Alright, cut the crap,’ I smirked. ‘I’ll give it to you, this is probably a funny prank, TJ.’

“I’m not TJ, I am a talking raccoon!”

“Talking raccoons don’t exist. You’re just a weird prankster in a costume.”

He stood there, outside in the wind. For a moment, he lifted his fake paw and began rubbing his chin. I could hear him sigh as he conceded, still in his cartoonish voice, “Alright, you caught me, good job! You passed the friendship test!”

I let out a sigh of relief. “Alright, I’m glad we can end this game. Honestly, it was starting to freak me out.”

‘Yeah, sorry, sometimes I get a little carried away,’ he chuckled, turning his head toward the front door. ‘I’ll see you inside, I guess…’

“Can you take off the suit? I mean, it actually does sort of give me the creeps.”

“What?” he replied, turning his head back to me.

“Take off the head part at least,'” I said as I stepped a little closer to the window. He started to breathe heavily but stood there without saying a word. I began to feel a little uneasy again, starting to doubt myself. “Come on, take it off and you can come inside.”

“But I can’t do that.”

“Alright, there’s one way to settle this then,” I said, thinking of a solution to rest any doubt. I pulled up my phone and called TJ’s number. The phone began to ring as we stood in a staring contest.

“What are you doing?'”

“I’m calling you, TJ.”

“No, no, don’t do that. My phone is in the treehouse!”

“What?”

“Hello?” I heard TJ’s voice over the phone. My eyes widened, and I began to panic. Suddenly, the man in the raccoon suit started to scratch at the window menacingly, tearing the screen.

“You’re not the fucking raccoon?” I shouted loudly over the phone.

“What? Of course, I’m not. Is he there? Seriously?” TJ answered.

“Yes, he told me he was you!”

“Just stay inside the house. I’m on my way back,” TJ replied before hanging up. He noticed that I was no longer on the phone and bolted away from the window as I ran out of the room. I could hear a doorknob rattling from somewhere as I ran back to the foyer area to see him…

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