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The original was posted on /r/newzealand by /u/GreenBean042 on 2024-10-18 02:59:11+00:00.

Apparently this sub has an extremely high standard for image posts. But it seemed to be getting a positive reactions before it got removed, so here is the email in text format for you to enjoy:

Green Bean

3:36 PM (18 minutes ago)

to Shane.Jones, S.Jones

Hi Shane, or The Office of Shane Jones (to whom it may concern)

Just wondering if you have some time free next week for a cuppa? I can take you out to any of your favourite cafes nearby for your latte or cappa - off the books of course, wink wink.

You see, I’ve been trying to build a new deck on my property and the local council have been giving me a bit of a run around with “resource consent” and “building regulations”

I saw that those savvy businessmen managed to take you out to a fancy dinner to get their work added to the fast track bill, so I reckon that should scale down appropriately to a cup of coffee for my deck to be fast tracked.

I understand you’re busy, so happy to get you the cuppa to go, if you prefer.

If it’s gonna take a bit more than a cuppa, like if you want a scone or a muffin or something, happy to add that on (although I hope that means you can help fast track my new shed, too! wink wink) or even if you’d prefer the money funneled through “political donations”, I’m sure we can sort something out.

Cheers,

Gregory Bean

(PS I know you’re man of taste, so I’ve got a couple of DVDs I can lend you - wink wink - much better than what you’d get at the SkyCity Grand, if you know what I mean.)