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The original was posted on /r/hfy by /u/psycocod21 on 2024-10-29 01:25:38+00:00.

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Josh had never felt more bewildered in his life. He hadn’t been in a 10 year old girl’s bedroom since he was 10 years old. Donna Moss was a neighbor and had invited all the neighborhood kids to her house for her birthday party. The party had been mostly in the backyard , but at one point, Donna had invited Josh up to her room to see her Pokémon card collection. He had been excited then. Now he was perpetually puzzled as his 10 year old sister that he met 12 minutes ago dragged him around the room proudly, showing off all her toys and treasures. She showed him a set of hovering trains, an entire bookshelf of half completed coloring books, a small mountain of plush creatures, each of which had a name and needed to be introduced to him and then she pulled out two thick books worn nearly threadbare from use.

One book had a title that was obviously handwritten in a large flowy script that said “Daddy”, and the other was titled “Brother” in the same script. His sister opened the book titled “Brother” and excitedly turned page after page happily chattering away and effectively narrating his whole life. Josh gazed in wonder at the pictures. The early pictures he recognized as copies of pictures he’d seen of himself as a kid. Between the ages of 10 and 18, there were few pictures, and they seemed to be from mostly public sources. Then, at age 18, there were suddenly many more pictures, but they were strange. They all seemed to be taken from a low height. As if the picture taker was the height of a medium-sized dog. Finally, curiosity overrode his stupor, and he asked about the pictures. His sister suddenly seemed shy.

“Oh. Those were taken by my spy dog, Kahlib. Here Kahlib!”

A Golden Retriever materialized out of a wall and padded over to the girls’ side. It sat down panting, its head about the same height as hers.

“Such a good boy. Say hi, Kahlib.”

“Hello Josh Bartlett, Crown Prince of the Churian Empire. It is good to see you again.”

Josh stood stunned as he realized he knew this dog.

“Samwise!”

The dog thumped his tail happily. Josh remembered the dog from the last couple of years, first when he was still living with his dad and more recently from the neighborhood around his new apartment. That was actually when he gave the dog the name Samwise because it seemed like the dog had followed him from one neighborhood to another. At first, Josh had thought the dog was a neighborhood dog belonging to a neighbor he didn’t know, and later, he believed the dog to be an amicable stray.

“Isn’t he sweet? He’s been helping me keep an eye on you. He’s such a good space dog.”

She said this while giving him scritchies. Josh shook his head.

"I don’t understand. Dad said there could be no contact, or we’d be in danger?

His sister nodded slowly.

“That’s true… which is why a couple of years ago, i made Kahlib and sent him to keep an eye on you. He did catch a couple of Space Squirrels that were not from mommy that were sniffing around your planet.”

“You made him? … a couple of years ago?”

“Uh, huh. It wasn’t too hard, and I was worried about you cause you didn’t have mommy to look after you. I mean, Daddy is great. Mommy says he’s the best operative she’s ever met, but he’s not a Churian like Mommy and me, and I just…”

She looked up at him with watery eyes and her lip quivering.

“Are you mad at me?”

Josh dropped to his knees and hugged his sister.

"Oh sweetheart, no. I just… look, I don’t know how to be a big brother, okay? I was just surprised. But look… you’re amazing. He’s amazing. "

Josh started petting the Golden Retriever.

“How did you make him… 4 years ago, when you were 6?”

He tried to ask in a neutral tone of voice. His sister sniffed and wiped her eyes. Then they brightened.

“Oh! It was super easy. I just stuffed an adaptive Sen-sec AI in a custom life-synth body and modified a phase projector to emit a multi-phasic quantum signature.”

Josh blinked.

"Oh. Er… well, that’s very clever. Nice job. "

His sister beamed. Suddenly, klaxons began to blare, and red warning lights started to flash.

“Princess, you and the Crown Prince should immediately go the bridge. The Space Raccoon armada has just jumped into the system.”

The dog looked up at his creator as he spoke. Then he jumped to all fours and ran at a nearby wall, disappearing through it. Esh’tar grabbed Josh’s hand.

“C,mon brother. Let’s go help Mommy and Daddy kick the trash panda’s butts.”

A/N: a special shout out to u/LowAudience9818 for planting the idea Space Golden Retrievers in my head. I can’t begin to thank everyone who comments and votes. It means a lot. I’m glad my quirky story entertains more people than just me.