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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Bright-Equal-2422 on 2024-11-02 07:29:06+00:00.

TW: sexual harassment. Original post in my profile under same title.

Well, I’d like to say thank you to everyone that took the time to comment on my last post, it’s because of you that I finally saw that I was not fucking up even though now my relationship with basically my whole family is. Unfortunately the result was not a pretty one.

I spoke to my parents and the whole conversation was just off. To begin with, they don’t understand why it took me so long to speak up. I tried explaining that for me this is a very sensitive topic and on top of that I was scared of how everyone would react. Second, it is well known that I usually have a very strong attitude and don’t have an issue with telling people to fuck off or standing up for myself, which in their eyes makes it strange that I wasn’t able to do that with Dumbo. Yes, I don’t have a problem with doing that to people that have no major impact on my life and to be honest even today I am asking myself why I didn’t react this way with him, although I wanted too, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, but I also know that if I did Dumbo and Rose would run off to my parents complaining about how disrespectful I am and it would have been messy either way. Third, they say things don’t add up because in the end I never took their advice which was to remove myself from the situation and second to have a conversation with Rose and Dumbo. I have found a nice place to live as of Dec 1st and I spoke to Rose as I honestly didn’t want, nor did I feel comfortable speaking to her husband in the beginning. Like I said in the first post, when I told Rose I was going to speak to Dumbo she said no because he wasn’t going to listen and she agrees that we have nothing to talk about. I explained this to my parents but they weren’t having it. They said that I need to face Dumbo as he is the one causing the issue for me. I told them very clearly that I wasn’t going to force him to sit down and listen to me but according to them that is exactly what I should be doing. My dad says that at the end of the day, I don’t know what Dumbo’s intentions were and this won’t get solved until he and I talk it out. That a lot of people look at me and it’s not that big of a deal. He’s angry that I’ve done nothing to solve this matter myself, and even if I “know” that Dumbo won’t listen that that’s not the point, the point is trying. I reminded him that he wasn’t just looking, it was constant comments, staring and putting his head on my boobs. I told him once again again that I wasn’t going to force a grown man to listen to me. But he kept on saying that I wasted their time by not taking their advice. Finally, my parents ended it by saying that because I haven’t been transparent with them and it seems like I basically wasted their time then that is how they’d like to keep our relationship: with a wall up.

I had prepared myself to take a step back from my parents if needed, but the fact that they did it because I “wasted their time” just hurts. I feel like they went into this convo with the mindset of not believing me and nothing I could have said would’ve change that. Just the fact that they’re telling me to force this man that’s ten years older than me to sit down and listen knowing damn well that because I don’t want to be alone with him his wife would have to be there and she’d be jumping down my throat every two seconds is like telling me to flip a hot pancake with no gloves and to “try to not get burnt” knowing damn well that I will. He never offered to be moderator.

I had a feeling that this would have been the result, so in a way I do feel like I did fuck up, in the end, Rose and Dumbo are perfectly happy (or so it seems), They both still have a great relationship with my parents, my relationship with all of them is messed up and I’m feeling pretty depressed. Once I move out completely I will be in a better mental state, I won’t have any toxic people in my life, I’ll be saving money as the new place is a lot cheaper and most importantly I know that I still have people that Love and support me even if it’s very few.

Once again, Thank you to everyone that gave me words of support on my last post, it means so much.

TL;DR: I have messed up my relationship with my whole family for speaking up about be harassed