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The original was posted on /r/hfy by /u/psycocod21 on 2024-11-02 20:30:39+00:00.

First

continued from The joke at the end of The List

Black Tooth, First Fist of the Alpha Expeditionary Force stomped through the halls of his flagship, Chicken Bone. His armored paws created pleasing clicking noises as he passed through the halls and arrived at the command center.

“Report!”

He growled as he entered the bustling room.

“First Fist. The capital has fallen. The Planetary Governor has surrendered. Polaris 7 is ours. Ground troops report minimal casualties, only 18%. Their defenses were exactly as weak as we expected.”

Captain Long of Tail reported to his commanding officer. The disdain was impossible to keep out of his voice as he talked about the Churian’s lack of defensive prowess. Black Tooth shook his head in disgust.

“Pathetic… Very well. Execute the governor for his failure to provide a decent defense.”

The Captain nodded. The Doctrine of Shame was standard procedure.

“At your command, First Fist… You have a visitor from the intelligence branch in your ready room.”

Black Tooth’s eyes narrowed. But he nodded. And walked to nearby doorway. The door opened at his approach, and he entered his private sanctum. Well, it would be private if it wasn’t for the unwelcome visitor sitting on his dias. He huffed. Black Tooth, like all Space Raccoons in the Armoured Forces, wore his power armour at all times. His visitor, however, was from the Intelligence Division. Most of the ID Agents preferred to remain completely un-armoured, keeping only a minimal satchel on their person. For gods sakes, even the Diplomatic Corp wore moderate body Armour. But not this… female. He recognized the notch on her left ear… Quick To Move. She sat with her back to him. He could see her whiskers twitch as she studied the image projected on the wall of his study.

It was a replica of “His Claws Barred”, one of the few remaining pieces of art from the Twilight Era. It depicted the great hero Bandit as he attacked the Churian Emporer, effectively throwing off millenia of enslavement.

"Did you know that the Churian Empire has a copy of this in their Royal collection? But they call it “Biting the hand that feeds them.”

Black Tooth bared his fangs. The disrespect of this female… Keeping your back to someone was a sign that you did not view them as a threat. He felt muscles instinctively preparing for a leap when Quick finally turned and regarded him with narrowed eyes.

“First Fist. Do you recall the conversation we had about the customary execution of planetary officials?”

Black Tooth jumped and landed on the raised dias with a heavy clang from his power armour. He sat back on his haunches matching her posture, though he towered 3 inches above her. He trilled.

“I recall you objecting. And I recall me telling you that I will dictate policy for this Expeditionary Force.”

Seeing her face, he did add quickly…

“I did, however, lower the percentage from 55% to 25% of losses before enacting the doctrine of shame. It is certainly not my fault that so far, no planet in the Churian Empire has met this quota.”

Quick to Move sighed and rubbed her forepaws on her face.

“Very well. In that case, two things, firstly, this is a formal request from the Diplomatic Corp to lower percentage of losses requiring the doctrine of shame to 10%.”

She fished a flimsy out of her satchel and laid it on the dias. Black Tooth eyed the paper communique and twitched his whiskers. Quick continued.

“And secondly, the division has confirmed that the Empress’s consort and the Crown Prince have returned from exile on the Protected Preserve to the Empire. We expect the reunited Imperial family to take to the field in short order.”

The First Fist considered this interesting news.

“I recall seeing an old report about Consort Grey Paw and his combat proficiencies. Do we have any intelligence on the Prince?”

Quick to Move shook her head.

“Unfortunately, we do not. None of our covert drones were ever able to transmit any relevant information. Obviously, we are aware of the Princess’s technomancy. At twice her age, we must assume he is even more skilled than she.”

Black Tooth nodded. And grinned. Finally, he may face a challenge after all. He glanced down at his work station and called up the Galactic Assault Plan. Now that the Polaris system had been pacified, they would would wait 3 days for Occupying Force Zeta to arrive and take up position before proceeding to the next system. In his mind, he fantasized about personally killing any of the Imperial family, hopefully the troublesome princess.

Quick to Move saw that the First Fist had mentally moved on, and she sighed internally. He had always had a short attention span.

'Very well. I will take my leave. Good day, First Fist."

She lithely jumped down from the dias, landing lightly on her 4 paws. Black Tooth waved dismissively, his thoughts already filled with bloody ends for the Imperial family.

*A/N: Sorry for the delay, everyone. Oh, if it wasn’t obvious, this is a continuation from The joke at the end of The List. Hopefully I’ll get another 2 chapters out this weekend. Thanks to everyone who has commented and up voted. It’s always appreciated. *