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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/AnonymousIVplay on 2024-11-04 06:10:33+00:00.

So as the title implies, my husband (27M) and I (26F) are currently visiting his family for a week. This is the first time I’ve stayed at their house, and I noticed all three of their toilets happen to have simple bidet attachments. Now I’d never used a bidet before this visit, and with it just being a simple two-setting attachment instead of the much more intimidating luxury bidet units, I figured I’d try it out while getting ready for bed. Ended up enjoying it, except for one problem.

The way this particular bidet works is it has a knob that can turn right or left, with each side having a different setting you can use, and the more you turn it the stronger the water pressure gets. Only thing was, I couldn’t quite figure out what the difference between the two settings is supposed to be. They’re only labeled with simple icons, and one just looks like a butt getting sprayed while the other has an arrow shaped kinda like an 8, if the bottom half was a triangle. Using both settings felt just fine on myself, but the water streams also felt identical no matter what I picked.

So, I got the bright idea to try turning on the bidet while not sitting on the toilet, to see if I could spot a visual difference. Some of you can probably guess where this is going.

After I did my business and flushed, I reopened the lid and turned the knob to the lowest pressure on one of the settings. This ended up being too low to see anything other than a trickle down the inside of the bowl, so I turned it up to the next pressure level.

Big mistake.

Immediately the water streams shot up and out of the toilet, spraying me directly in the stomach. Quickly I grabbed the knob and yanked it in the other direction to turn it off. However, in my panic I forgot one crucial thing. Remember how I said the two settings were on the left and right of the knob? This puts the off position directly in the center.

So when I yanked the knob the other direction to turn it off, I overcorrected and put the other setting on FULL. BLAST.

At that point I started panicking even more and yanked it back the other direction once again, and over and over and over while unable to figure out why the water wasn’t turning the fuck off goddammit, until finally my rational brain caught up and I forced myself to turn the knob slowly until it was squarely in the center, and thankfully that got the water to turn off at last. But not before I had sprayed toilet water all over the bathroom floor and myself.

So now my pajamas are soaked, my husband is laughing his ass off at me, and I’m still no closer to figuring out what the fuck each setting is supposed to be used for. Here’s hoping the water I couldn’t wipe up with extra toilet paper at least dries up before tomorrow morning.

TL;DR out of curiosity I turned on my in-laws bidet attachment while not sitting on the toilet, panicked when it sprayed outside the toilet bowl and forgot how to turn it off, and soaked the entire bathroom and myself