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The original was posted on /r/lifeprotips by /u/Fluffy-Western9729 on 2024-11-09 04:26:40+00:00.

I know the most obvious answer is to leave but for many reasons that is not possible at this time. I plan to leave within the next 18 months but literally cannot at this moment so please don’t suggest this. I also cannot move offices at this time either, I am purely looking for strategies for how to destress/disconnect when I am at home.

Context:

I am a child protection social worker and absolutely love my physical job however the toxicness and bullying of the workplace is quite literally traumatizing me and destroying me from the inside out. My manager is a literal psychopath who has a history of substantiated workplace bullying (5 years ago and not against me) she is sneaky, manipulative and unrelenting. Past disciplinary action has just taught her how to perpetrate her abuse in a smarter way so that technicalities stop her from being able to be accused of bullying again.

She became my boss earlier in the year (after she got my boss moved to another district) and my mental health has steadily deteriorated since. She makes it her mission in life to destroy anyone in the workplace who see’s through her facade and as well as getting my old manager moved put so much pressure on two of my previous team members that they quit. I am the last person standing who she know’s see’s through her crap and she has hyperfixated on getting rid of me since. 

All year I have kept track of her bullying behaviors and misconduct and after many discussions with my office manager (her boss) I have recently moved to a new team. Whilst I am on a new team I am still in the same office as her and she has enormous sway over my new manager and the office manager. Everyday she finds new ways to exert control, micromanage and gaslight me and I feel like I am going insane. 

I now dread going to work despite loving my job and am experiencing enormous amounts of anxiety and depression at home as well as work (I am seeing a regular GP and psychologist and have amazing friends and family to help support as well). Despite the extensive support I still feel like I am drowning and wasting away in misery and stress. 

I would love a way to figure out a way to separate myself from her influence over me while I am at home and isolate this to just being at work. Any advise would be extremely appreciated, I am really struggling.