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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Bright-Equal-2422 on 2024-11-10 07:05:59+00:00.

TW: sexual harassment

To begin, I’d like to thank all of those that have given me advice and shown support during this hard time. It’s given me more strength than you know

I’ve been asked some questions so I’ll answer a few:

1- Why did I wait 6 months to bring this up? This is a very serious accusation to bring up, I wanted to be absolutely sure that I wasn’t imagining anything and that I was sure of this, I was also terrified of how my family would react.

2- Why didn’t I speak to Dumbo from the very beginning? I didn’t have the courage and didn’t know how he’d react so I went to my parents for guidance.

3- Why didn’t I bring this up until after I moved out? Simple, I thought my parents would have my back.

Now to the update

After my last post, I spoke to Dumbo. Even though many advised me not to, I caved and I confronted him. I recorded the entire conversation like many suggested and even made sure to send it to a few people just in case. Dumbo was quiet the whole time I spoke and apologized even though he admits he stands by the fact he did nothing. His wife (my cousin) Rose, was laughing, snorting and making side remarks the whole time, the urge to tell her to fuck off was big, but I didn’t want to make things worse for myself.

The conclusion of our talk was this: they don’t want to move on from this but we will be civil, we will keep communication to a minimum until and after I move, he will make sure to never be alone around me and lastly that our conversation was basically pointless and that even if I had spoken to him first place like everyone said, he says the result still would have been the same meaning we would all be divided.

I told my parents all of this this morning as they wanted to know how the talk went, and even though I told them this was all said by Dumbo, they still said that I was trying to justify my reasons for not wanting to have the conversation with him, and basically they think I only caved into this to “prove” that I wasn’t lying, because in the end, I “never showed any signs of abuse or said anything”. They have made clear that I have dived the whole family and that it’s going to take time for them to heal from the pain and distress I have caused and that in the future, my family may or may not reach out to me again.

After all of this, my biggest fuck up was how I went about this. I should have waited until I was in my new place and away from these people, at least that way a lot of this could have been avoided. Many have said that because I am 23 I am old enough to deal with this alone, to those who said this, thank you, I have learned that family will not always be there to back you up. Speaking up will never be a fuck up, but the way you go about things most definitely can be, as you can see here. If I had done, said or acted in few different ways I think the outcome could have been a bit different. In the end, I know I still have people that love and support me, my move out date is just around the corner and eventually my mental health will be ok. In the meantime I will focus on packing and being around those I love. Thank you once again for all your support.

This will be my final update.

TL:DR: I fucked up by how I went about confessing to being sexually harassed and could have done things different.