This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/hfy by /u/Physical-Sea-5771 on 2024-11-15 19:51:27+00:00.


Life is improbable, the math just doesn’t support it, but the universe doesn’t in fact care about math’s opinion. I carry a box from my car back to my apartment, I had been going to this pizza joint since before first contact 7 years ago but the new toppings we have gotten via trade negotiations never fail to please.

I suppose I should start with introductions my name is miles and I live on a moon called Titan, I work at a garden nursery tending to small plants before they are fully integrated into the local ecosystem. We’ve been fortunate to have made it in to our 11th generation of plants, the first 10 generations have been integrated already and provide mostly breathable air. I’m told that by the 15th generation we won’t need our artificial oxygen systems anymore.

Sorry I got away from the main topic PIZZA. My roommate and coworker Jeltz and I disagree on many things regarding pizza toppings. For instance Xi is one of the perverts that enjoys pineapple on pizza, where I prefer a fruit from Zir Homeworld that tastes like bacon. We do however agree that earth mushrooms pair particularly well with a kind of sausage from Zir Homeworld, I’m told it’s made of a small avian creature that was selectively bred to be flightless and fattier. The pie I’m carrying is one such pizza, mushroom and P’Gny sausage with extra cheese.

As I sit down and we each grab a slice Jeltz asks me “Human Miles, I’ve seen a documentary about energy beings from your homeworld, are you familiar with Ghosts? Have you met one?”

“Sorry Jeltz, I’m afraid that wasn’t a documentary ghosts are ficticious. Ghosts are a hold over from humanities more superstitious roots, they aren’t real.”

“In other words the math does not support their existence?”

“You know the scientist that said life was improbable had lead poisoning in his brain from years of our planet using harmful chemicals as fuel?”

“Did the scientist that disproved ghosts also have this poisoning?”

“Uh… actually ghosts haven’t been disproven, just never fully proven…”

“Am I to understand that the researchers who study ghosts are not considered to be legitimate scientists?”

“I suppose so…”

“That seems unfair.”

“I agree, i think…”

“My next question, is this Dr. Venkman still alive? I would like to meet him.”

Edit: formatting