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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 on 2024-11-16 05:01:03+00:00.

**I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Throwaway348282

My (29 M) cousin (34 M) is acting increasingly inappropriate with my wife and mother of my two kids (28 F) who used to strip, sent her a love letter

TRIGGER WARNING: obsessive behaviour, infidelity

Original Post  Sept 18, 2014

Eight years ago, my cousin “Joe” was getting married. He invited me to his bachelor party. It was me and a bunch of his weird friends I was uncomfortable around. I spent the whole night nursing a beer waiting for it to end. Towards the end of the night, His best man (whose name I can’t even remember) had two strippers come. I hated the idea, so I continued to nurse the beer while the girls “entertained” them.

A week later, while I was at the gym, a pretty girl I couldn’t quite place comes up to me and starts making small talk, I ask how I know her and she says she was the “entertainment” at a party I was at. I was surprised by how different she looked compared to that night. Long story short, I end up asking her out. Her fake name is going to be “Audrey”.

It turns out Audrey’d only been stripping for a few months (I believed her but Iher friends have confirmed it), and she ends up quitting a few weeks after we start dating (I was clearly uncomfortable with it, and she didn’t really like it).

She’s never been ashamed about it, but we haven’t told anyone in our family about it and Joe kept his mouth shut because I asked him to. She’s still friends with some girls who still strip, and I think that some of my friends put two and two together but haven’t been rude or anything, just made the usual “I’m jealous” jokes.

Anyways, we’ve had two great kids, a son (5) and a daughter (3) and we’re thinking about having one or two more.

Joe’s always been super quiet around Audrey, probably because of how they met, until recently, after his divorce.

He’s started complimenting my wife’s physical appearance, like every time he sees her. I’ve told him to lay off, but he hasn’t so far. One incident in particular where he said something about kids not “ruining her figure” really pissed me off, and I bowed up on him and he apologized saying he was drunk (we were at a family barbecue). I calmed down and realized I wasn’t going to beat his ass in front of my whole extended family and my kids. i told him not to talk my wife again.

This has really come to a head where he sent my wife a love letter asking her to leave me and start a life with him. She sent a reply e-mail just saying no thank you.

What do I do here? I love my family, I love my extended family, and I want her to be comfortable around them (and she can’t be with Joe there). Audrey doesn’t want me to tell my family he’s making her uncomfortable, because she’s afraid Joe will let out our the fact that she used to be a stripper. I told her I’d be okay with it, but she’s pretty adamant on not wanting them to know.

Another thing, Joe hasn’t done anything that would require legal action. He’ been acting like a teenager with a crush, and my wife admitted that she doesn’t feel like she’s in any kind of danger. I told her that we need to watch him carefully, but I don’t know if there is much we can do on this front.

My wife has just been terrified he’s going to tell my family, I’ve been there for her the best I can. She’s afraid that one day our kids could find out if the whole family learns.

I would love advice on this whole horrible situation.

TL;DR- I met my wife after she was stripped at my cousin’s bachelor party, he’s developed an infatuation with her, and she’s afraid he’s going to tell our family about her being a stripper after she rejected a love letter. I need to know what to do here.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

montaron87td

Do you think your family will be terribly upset if they find out your wife used to do some stripping to pay her way through college?

I’d say pull a David Letterman and beat your cousin to the punch. You’d just have to convince your wife of that, Maybe start with one or two you definitely trust and go from there?

OOP

My family is really religious.  They’ve always been the hate the sin love the sinner kind of people, so I feel like they’d be kind, they’re pretty accepting.  I’ve talked to my wife about letting people know, she’s dead set against it.

Update  Sept 20, 2014 (2 days later)

Yesterday, my wife and I decided to show my parents Joe’s email love letter. We learned a lot of things.

1. Joe has a apparently seduced another one our cousin’s wife, as well as his Uncle’s wife (Joe’s uncle is only five years older than him). Both times he sent a love-letter, and both times ignored them afterwords. I don’t know why but both of those couples are still together, all of them are religious so maybe it has something to do with not wanting to get divorced.

2. The reason Joe got a divorce was because he would not stop cheating on his wife.

3. Joe came to his parents and the older family members who I will refer to as the Old Guard (facetiously). and asked for help after being caught with the cousin’s wife, saying he was sorry and that he had a problem. They decided to forgive him, but put “rules” in place.

4. My parents knew about Audrey. Joe had told his mom told my mom, her sister. My mom told my dad.

Audrey started crying at 4, but my parents gave her a hug and told her they didn’t care. It was great, and after some tears we went back to our house (a babysitter was watching the kids). My parents told me the Old Guard was going to talk to Joe.

Apparently Joe told everyone there about Audrey, by trying to say that her being around “set him back.” Everyone didn’t know (except for my parents and Joe’s parents). He claimed that she made the first move. He also said that he slept with her on Tuesday while I was at work. That was completely false, because I had started working from home a month ago. I was at home all day with my wife (just to be clear, there’s no way she has been having an affair with him, I think the longest we’ve been apart this month has been an hour when she gets groceries, and he claimed Tuesday was the first time).

The fallout has been horrible. Apparently I was already the “black sheep” (not the fucking sexual deviant) because my family doesn’t go to church. We’ve received various messages “denouncing” us, the worst being from the parents of “Lisa.” Lisa is like a sister to me, her parents moved in with mine and we lived together. Lisa turned 17 recently, and her parents aren’t allowing her to be at our house anymore (she used to come over all the time).

My wife is crushed, I’ve been holding her as much as I can, and I know our kids are making her feel better, but she told me that “her worst nightmare came true.” She still thinks going to my parents was the right idea though. My parents are still supporting us. The younger group who aren’t living with their parents won’t cut us out.

I’ve pretty much written off the rest of the family. I’ll try to have my parents explain that she had nothing to do with Joe, but if they don’t listen they don’t listen. Lisa also doesn’t believe it, but besides a text saying that she doesn’t want to stop being around us we haven’t heard from her.

Tldr- We showed my parents the letter, Joe had a history of seducing wives and ignoring them afterwards. “Old Guard” in family confronted him, he told them she used to be a stripper and lied about her instigating (he also said they slept together, but I was with my wife when he claimed to, he didn’t know I work at home). Whole family is pretty much torn up over this, my parents are still supporting me, younger family members not dependent on their parents are also refusing to cut us out.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

Did Joe really sleep with those other wives?

OOP

No, he did sleep with them.  Both woman have admitted to it (according to my parents).  I guess he got frustrated that he couldn’t with mine.

cant_be_mine

Interesting how the “stripper” seems to have better morals than the holier-than-thous, huh?

I’m really sad for your sweet wife that a grade A sack of donkey shit like Joe happened to her - but incredibly glad she has you in her corner.

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