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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/[deleted] on 2024-11-16 08:58:50+00:00.

I (28M) am a kissless virgin. No hand-holding, no hugs that lasted longer than a couple seconds, nothing. I’ve spent my entire adult life either too shy or too awkward to pursue anything resembling romance. Though, I’ve been dating this absolutely stunning woman (26F) for the past two months. She’s sweet, funny, and way too good for me. Like, she’s dating down into the earth’s crust levels of too good for me and I love her. I don’t know why she would want me in the first place, but I definitely fumbled it now.

Last night, we were at her place, having what I thought was a casual movie night. But then the vibe shifted. She cuddled up to me, was laughing a little harder at my terrible jokes, and then—it happened. She asked me if I wanted a kiss and I nodded. She leaned in then, and did it. My first-ever kiss.

My brain went into complete meltdown mode. She kept kissing me, and even got on my lap. After a minute or two of kissing like this, she stroked the hair on the back of my head and that did it for me. It was embarrassing.

It wasn’t subtle, either. No “maybe she didn’t notice". She probably felt it since she was straddling my lap. There was absolutely no hiding it. She froze mid-kiss and I felt her kinda smile. She was probably about to laugh at me. I panicked. I stammered something incomprehensible, grabbed my jacket, and bolted.

I spent the rest of the night lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering why I was born.

She actually texted me. Probably making fun of me or saying that she doesn’t want to see me again. I haven’t opened it. I can’t. I’m so fucking humiliated.

What am I supposed to say? “Sorry, I finished in my pants because I got overwhelmed by a kiss”? I can’t even think about it without wanting to disappear into a black hole.

I’ve probably ruined everything, and she’s probably laughing about this with her friends now.

TL;DR: I’m a 28-year-old kissless virgin and I finished during my first kiss. Panicked, ran, and now I’m too scared to open her text or face her ever again.

EDIT: Yeah I was panicking for nothing. I opened the text and she was asking if I was okay, then said that she thought it was kinda hot. I did apologise for storming off and we’re good now. She also told me that I’ll build more stamina with practice.