This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/hfy by /u/KyleKKent on 2024-11-25 22:33:14+00:00.

First

The Buzz on the Spin

“Ladies and Gentlemen! But mostly ladies I’m not going to lie about demographics here, I’m young not delusional.” Hoagie announces, his image projected over every single arena in Sector Two and smiling for everyone to see. “Now there’s going to be an announcement I don’t have full control over the timing of, but don’t worry. It won’t interfere with the fights. And when it happens, I’ll be announcing a special treat! Which means that there’s two pieces of good news coming! So please, enjoy the fight and remember to work up an appetite! All contestants, be they winner or loser, will be allowed to eat their fill at the tournament feast!”

Sector Two reverberates with cheering as the image fades and numerous announcers begin their duty to hype up the fights and keep everything cheering and moving.

“And here she comes.” Hoagie says as he spots his target from a great distance away. Lorelli Spinefin, also known as Yenala Quasar, is walking up with four of her security surrounding her and her second in command on the ship.

Shes an amphibious species which resembles a Merra but with a long tail that helps with swimming. Okay granted a Merra looks like a Tret or Human with a serious ocean theme, but still. The coloration and general bearing was similar enough. He waves her over, if she’s going to show up without any trouble then he’s not going to lift a gift horse in the mouth.

“Remember, friendly until I’m not.” Hoagie reminds his wives and there’s a buzzing confirmation. He then turns towards the amphibian on approach and smiles. “Captain Spinefin! So glad you could turn around. Bit of bad business when a customer forgets something of value.”

“Not at all, the offer of free berth until the business is complete was more than generous enough to make me understand things. You’re in the middle of some kind of tournament?”

“That we are, there’s also a few treats at the end and… it seems that business is moving, care to walk with me for a bit while we talk? The sooner we get everything sorted the sooner you can be back on your way, and I promise your time here won’t cost a single trytite to clear this. I’ll even cover your meals.”

“Very generous, almost suspiciously so…” She says with her eyes narrow. Then she smiles. “But I’m not the suspicious sort. It’s good to know that there’s honest business still being done on this station, I had a bad deal with a few former friends in sector one.”

“Were they former friends before or after the bad deal?”

“After. I thought I might have a friend before the deal but they proved me wrong.”

“That’s life for you sometimes. You just can’t rely on people these days.” He notes before giving her a look. “You know I’ve never actually encountered your species before. What do you and yours call yourselves?”

“Well, I’m what’s generally known as a woman, we’re easily distinguished from men by where the bumps are.” She says hefting her breasts a little and Hoagie’s eyeroll seems to go through his whole body.

“Sorans. We are called Sorans. Unlike the Merra we’re far more comfortable in the water, but we’re not poisonous. We do however have our lovely tails that are easily reinforced with Axiom. Makes them powerful blades with which to rip things apart when we need to.”

“Ah good to know, good to know. So you girls are always armed and ready. Here, have a seat. It’ll be a bit before the tournaments are even close to over so I don’t think anyone will mind if you spend a bit in there while I lay things out, with what’s happened it’s probably a smart idea to be sitting anyways.”

“Oh certainly.” She says sitting down at the offered chair. “Now what is…”

The large chair she sits in suddenly shifts and around her ankles and thighs bands snap shut. She tries to teleport and is blocked, her tail lashes out and the back of the chair near her bottom is revealed to be flimsy material as the main backrest floats on it’s own.

“Comfy?” Hoagie asks as he leans against the top with a smirk. Her security are moving, but mostly in that they’re dodging Ablator bursts and Banger fire.

“What is this about!? What are you doing?!”

“It’s about the whale. But that’s all you’re going to know for now. Your crew is invited to participate in the festivities and in a couple hours I’m going to let everyone knows what’s going on. Meanwhile YOU just sit pretty and don’t do anything stupid.” He says patting her on the head before slipping out of her grip as she grabs at him. She produces a plasma pistol, buit the view of him plucking the shots out of midair with an impudent grin only infuriates her further. The fact tit’s hit with an ablator beam and broken doesn’t help her attitude.

“Come on girls, let’s bring Miss Quasar’s crew into the festivities. After all, this party is because of all of them.”

“Wait a minute! Get back here! I demand an answer! GET BACK HERE!!!” Captain Spinefin screams after him as his wives hustle her protectors and forcibly sign them up to the fights.

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“… Did he force the entire crew of her ship to participate in a blood sport?”

“He did. The crew got the bruises, but she got the humiliation.”

“Look Miss Eastman, it’s clear that he force fed her a large amount of the whale, so please don’t beat around the bush. We both know what happened. Just say it please. For the record.”

“Oh fine, in summary my son arranged for the poacher crew to get badly beaten in a tournament that he himself took part in and personally gave her chief of security a concussion through happy happenstance, and then after that was said and done he confined the captain to that chair until every scrap of the victory feast was eaten. Which included every portion of the whale minus the portion paid to Hive Sanguine. Anyone could help her clear it away, and to be honest a lot did, not out of sympathy, but because whale meat isn’t something commonly available here.”

“Very good. You may continue… although… is whale meat commonly available?”

“It depends where in the galaxy you are, on this station it’s more of a luxury good? But if you get onto the main Axiom lanes then you can buy just about anything you can imagine on any way station or world next to them. As it stands we don’t have many oceanic worlds near here, and the ones we do have close enough for casual trade don’t have any quick breeding species of whale for proper ranching.”

“Did you have any?”

“I had a plate full. It was very… earthy. Not bad, but not something I’m going to look for unless I have to.” Janet says. “Anyways, back to the story… unless the summary is enough?”

The unseen presence in the room with them sincerely hopes it is not.

“I need all details, I just like having summaries. Please continue.” Observer Wu states and Janet smiles.

“Of course. Now the tournament itself was a simple series of brawls, five at a time in the middle of different arenas. Non-lethal and announced at a rapid clip. But before he entered himself, my Daniel had another announcement…”

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“Ladies and Gentlemen, again more on the angle of ladies due to population… This is Administrator Daniel Eastman. Representative and enforcer of Sector Four! My pockets are funding this tournament and I beg only a few moments of your time! First off! Our guest of honour has arrived!” His image announces before suddenly cutting to Captain Spinefin. “This woman, Captain Lorelli Spinefin or as her actual name is Yenala Quasar, thought it was a great idea to drop off a full grown WHALE in sector one when she couldn’t sell some of her poached prey to a few of our residents. Now I understand being angry as much as anyone, but an animal that size the hell out nowhere caused a lot of damage. Then it died. So that’s what we’re eating, and as payment for the problems she gave us. She’s eating it too. In fact, she’s eating everything we don’t eat. And she’s going nowhere until she does.”

The image of Spinefin shows her struggling even harder now. “Now I’m not sure what giant marine mammal tastes like. But I’m honestly curious. I’ve paid deep and paid well to have it not only butchered but professionally prepared. Every part of the beast is part of this feast. Don’t be afraid to try anything and the only cost of having as much or as little as you like is signing up, and you can still sign up now. Which brings me nicely to the next part! Men of Octarin Spin! I want to do violence! I want to fight! All men are encouraged to sign up! But if you are willing to fight under an extra rule, then you get an additional prize in addition to any prize you win and the default seat at the feast! And that rule ladies and gents, is simple!”

His image then moves rapidly and in a single motion his Hawaiian shirt is off and his bare chest exposed for all to see. “NO SHIRTS! COME AT ME BROS!”

The cheering is so loud it echoes clearly through Sectors One and Three and can be vaguely heard in Sectors Four and Eight.

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“A shirtless brawl?”

“Signups for the event quintupled.”

“And over half the station cheered.”

“They did. Funniest thing ever.”

“So you don’t feel conflicted about your son going around half naked? By galactic standards it’s like a little girl flashing her chest on live television.”

“I…

Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1gzw21s/oocs_into_a_wider_galaxy_part_176/