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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/AtomicFile_ on 2024-11-26 22:55:23+00:00.
A couple of months ago, I had a run-in with the self-appointed HOA enforcer of my neighborhood—let’s call her Linda. For context, I don’t live in an HOA community, but Linda likes to pretend we do. She’s the kind of person who leaves passive-aggressive notes on cars, knocks on doors to complain about lawn heights, and calls the city for “violations” that don’t actually exist.
The issue started because I parked my car on the street in front of my house. It’s perfectly legal, and I’ve been doing it for years without any complaints. But apparently, Linda decided that my car was an eyesore. One day, I found a note tucked under my windshield wiper that said:
“This is NOT a parking lot. Park in your driveway like a respectful neighbor. Don’t make me involve the city.”
It annoyed me, but I shrugged it off and kept parking where I always do. That wasn’t good enough for Linda. The next time, she confronted me in person.
Linda: “I’ve told you before, parking on the street is inconsiderate. You have a driveway; use it!” Me: “It’s legal to park here, and I’m not blocking anything.” Linda: “It doesn’t matter. It’s ugly and makes the neighborhood look bad. Park in your driveway, or I’ll report you.”
That’s when I decided: fine. If she wants me to park in my driveway, I’ll park in my driveway—but I’ll follow every single rule to the letter.
You see, my driveway is small. If I park my car in it, it blocks the sidewalk. Technically, it’s against city ordinances to obstruct the sidewalk. So the next day, I pulled my car right into my driveway, perfectly centered, and guess what? It completely blocked the sidewalk.
It didn’t take long for Linda to notice. She marched up to my door, red-faced and furious.
Linda: “You can’t block the sidewalk! That’s illegal!” Me: “Oh, I thought you wanted me to park in my driveway?” Linda: “Not like that! Park properly!” Me: “There’s no other way to park in my driveway without blocking the sidewalk. Guess I’ll have to park back on the street then.”
Her face was priceless. She sputtered for a moment before stomping off. Thinking that was the end of it, I parked back on the street. But no, Linda wasn’t done yet. She actually called the city on me!
A week later, a city inspector came by. He checked out the situation, saw that my car was legally parked on the street, and told me I was doing nothing wrong. However, he did mention that Linda had made several complaints about “code violations” in the neighborhood, and they were getting tired of her nonsense.
After that, I didn’t hear from Linda for a while—until last week, when she started parking her car on the street in front of my house. So, I did what any good neighbor would do: I called the city and reported it. Turns out her car was slightly too close to a fire hydrant. She got a ticket.
Malicious compliance never felt so sweet.