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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/AtomicFile_ on 2025-01-10 04:55:34+00:00.

So, let me tell you about my dear neighbor Karen—yes, that Karen. You know the type: clipboard, self-righteous attitude, always sniffing out problems that don’t exist. She’s not even on the HOA board, but she acts like she’s the president of the universe.

The issue started when I decided to brighten up my yard with some colorful flowers. Nothing crazy—just some daisies, tulips, and a little garden patch. Harmless, right? Well, not according to Karen.

One afternoon, she stomps over, waving her little HOA rulebook like it’s the Bible and she’s Moses coming down the mountain. “Those flowers aren’t in compliance,” she screeches. “You’re violating section 12.4! Only native plants are allowed.”

I try to reason with her. “Karen, the HOA guidelines just say the yard has to be well-maintained. These flowers are fine.”

But no, Karen wasn’t having it. She said she was going to report me to the HOA because “rules are rules.” Fine. You want me to follow the rules, Karen? I’ll follow the rules.

So, I did some research and found every obnoxious native plant I could get my hands on. Thorny bushes? Check. Spiky grasses? Check. A massive yucca plant that looks like it wants to eat small animals? Oh, you better believe I planted that front and center.

By the time I was done, my yard looked like a post-apocalyptic jungle—but every single plant was 100% native to the area. And, let me tell you, I double-checked the HOA guidelines to make sure I was bulletproof.

Karen comes stomping back a week later, furious. “This is unacceptable!” she yells, flailing her clipboard. “Your yard looks terrible!”

“Oh, Karen,” I said, with the sweetest smile I could muster. “You were so right. My flowers weren’t compliant. But these are all native plants, just like the rules you pointed out. Isn’t it great?”

She sputtered like a broken engine and ran off to the HOA. They reviewed my yard and, guess what? Completely compliant. Karen ended up getting a warning from the board for harassing neighbors.

Now I sit on my porch, sipping coffee, surrounded by my chaotic jungle of compliance, while Karen avoids making eye contact every time she walks by. It’s the little victories, you know?