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The original was posted on /r/cfs by /u/Choice_Intention829 on 2025-01-21 21:56:54+00:00.

The endless grey and rain of this month are really affecting my seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and making me feel quite depressed and anxious. I always have a pretty physical reaction to mental health stuff, I feel sick, lose my appetite, and my fatigue feels so much worse. Normally my mental health is fine, and I feel content enough with my life, not particularly happy but accepting of my situation. But for the last couple of weeks, I’ve just been feeling bone-crushing loneliness.

I feel like I’m losing contact with all my offline friends, we rarely call, and most have moved to different cities meaning we rarely see each other in person. All my friends seem to be progressing with adulthood, they’re all dating, getting promotions at work, and buying houses, meanwhile, I’m stuck living with my parents in an isolated village, feeling trapped by the walls of my childhood bedroom.

My usual techniques of coping aren’t working. I’ve scheduled a video call with one group of friends for the weekend, and a trip to a museum in a few weeks with another. Normally, having things in my calendar would help but it’s making no difference this time. Two of my friends haven’t responded, which normally wouldn’t bother me but it’s definitely leading to feelings of rejection this time.

I know I need to make efforts to socialise with new people to combat this low mood, but I feel stuck in a vicious cycle, as it’s making my fatigue worse so I can’t go out to join things. I want to try out the local social night at my board game cafe and a church with the 20s and 30s group but I’m just feeling so tired and anxious at the idea of being trapped at a social event, not connecting with anyone but unable to leave because the bus isn’t for a couple of hours. It’d be nice to hear if anyone’s got any advice or a similar situation, I don’t really know anyone else with ME so I’m feeling pretty isolated with it.

are