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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/tvcity6455 on 2025-01-26 15:18:17+00:00.
Years ago, I worked in a satellite office of a large department (300+ people) in a giant corporation. Half of the staff had salary/benefits while my half was hourly contractors. The department was run by two vindictive women who were wholly responsible for the toxic environment. They loved talking about how much they were like sisters; I loved pointing out that when you have sisters like them, one of them ends up under Dorothy’s house.
Like most companies, they were constantly blowing smoke up everyone’s ass about how much we’re valued. And they showed that by inviting us to an Appreciation Potluck! There were going to be surprises! And delicious treats from our coworkers!
Of course, the other shoe inevitably dropped: the company was providing only soft drinks as alcohol on company property is forbidden (except when it isn’t). The only food at this “appreciation” potluck was what employees were expected to make (“nothing store-bought – share some love with us!”). They couldn’t put it in writing, but it got around that failing to cook something would be “noted.”
It’s tough when the company won’t give you a budget, but it’s tone deaf and insulting to demand people give their own time to prop up the illusion the company cares when half your staff doesn’t get health insurance. The participation non-mandate came straight from the top, and I wanted them thoroughly, inescapably embarrassed.
Two days before the potluck while on a call with my boss, I dropped the live grenade in her lap:
Boss: oh, before we go, I wanted to ask why you declined my Outlook invite for tomorrow afternoon. What’s up?
Me: oh I need to leave early tomorrow to cook for the potluck since I assume you can’t authorize overtime for it.
Boss: overtime?…
Me: My recipe takes an hour or so to cook and the actual potluck is another 2 after business hours, so I was going to leave 3 hours early to keep myself at 40 hours this week.
Boss: wait, you expect to get paid for cooking?
Me: Half this staff is hourly contractors. Does this for-profit company expect 150 contractors to donate 3 or more hours of their personal time for their own appreciation meal?
Boss: oh my God… nobody thought of how this looks? [she was asking herself more than me]
Me: or nobody expected to be called on it.
Boss: but who’s getting called on it? Oh… [sighs] you’re at your desk where everyone can hear…
Me: correct.
Boss: I have to go.
I did feel bad about dragging her into it – she had enough on her plate – but I knew she’d just toss the grenade up the chain to people who get paid to know better. Our satellite office wasn’t privy to many details, but I’m told my call sent people panicked and scurrying around at the mother ship, consuming a day and a half of a lot of people’s time. Mission accomplished.
In the end, they moved the potluck to lunchtime (during paid time for contractors) and bought our office pizzas – only our office. We were, however, instructed not to be eating the pizza when we Skyped in because everyone else would get upset. And yes, all the satellite offices were Skyping in like this was the Dunder Mifflin Infinity launch.