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The original was posted on /r/transmedical by /u/Right_Pitch1064 on 2025-01-27 22:08:14+00:00.

I was taking that stupid “internalized transphobia” test, and one question really stuck out to me.

“If I look the part, talk the talk, and walk the walk of a cisgender woman or man, it will allow others to accept me.”

The entire test is riddled with “it’s transphobic to have dysphoria” sentiments, but this in particular was really revealing. It treats passing like a will to just “fit in” instead of something for my own personal comfort.

The thing is, I’m autistic. I’ve felt outcast and alienated from my peers since I was in primary school (being trans certainly didn’t help). I know I’m never going to fit in as a “normal” person.

I want to pass because being viewed as female makes me feel sick to my stomach. I want to pass because getting misgendered ruins my entire day. I just want to be viewed like any other guy. Being in a class of people who inherently view me as a girl has made me suicidally depressed. I’m much happier being viewed as a weird outcast loser as a guy than I could ever be if I was seen as a “normal girl”.

Do I really have internalized transphobia just because I don’t want to have to deal with crushing social dysphoria every day? Passing has immensely improved my mental health and I’m no longer actively planning my suicide every day. Is that really so bad?