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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2025-02-21 05:04:06+00:00.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/ElectricalAir464, account now deleted

Originally posted to r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC

WIBTA if I accused my mom of sabotaging my truck and forbidding her from using it?

Trigger Warnings: emotional abuse and manipulation, destruction of propert, possible theft, controlling behavior

Original Post: February 11, 2025

This one’s kind of messy.

I (19M) have been saving for a truck for over a year now, using money from part time jobs. I’m on the waiting list to get into the job field I actually want. I also currently still stay at home and I’ve been using my mom’s (56F) vehicle to get back and forth to work, as she is recently retired and doesn’t go out much.

I saved up enough to buy a used pickup that I really wanted, and that I test drove several times to make sure it was in good condition. I bought the truck, paid for several months of insurance up front, and got it registered. I drove it around for a few days, and it ran fine.

A few days ago, my mom asked to borrow it, saying she needed a pickup to help a friend move some things, and I agreed. All I said was that I needed the gas replaced. I was respectful and thought that was fair since I’ve been paying for all the gas and the maintenance on her car for the last year as part of the deal for me using it.

I got the truck back that evening and it’s been giving me problems since. It’s been stalling on me and sometimes (most of the time) won’t even crank.

I asked my mom about it and she got snooty and said that she had her mechanic friend look at it, and he replaced some wires and tuned it up, but it ran fine when she parked it.

That’s when red flags went up. Yes, the truck had a few issues so it probably needs a tuneup, but I changed the oil and spark plugs when I got it, I have the previous owner’s maintenance receipts, and, as I said, nothing was so bad on it that I could drive it for several days before I lent it to her.

I should say (this is the messy part), my mom has a habit of being financially controlling, and she did not like it when I got the truck. She wanted me to buy a sedan from one of her friends, and she complained nonstop when I brought the truck home. She told me outright that it was a waste of money and I shouldn’t have bought a vehicle from someone I didn’t know.

Examples of her being financially controlling are how she keeps track of my work hours and, on top of paying her rent that’s equal to half of my pay, I also have to buy groceries for both myself and her. She also won’t let me have access to the money my dad left when he died a few years ago, and constantly gripes whenever I spend money on myself, which isn’t often. I’ve only bought some clothes and a few games for my PC over the last year, because of how hard I was working to save for a vehicle.

Her mechanic friend also isn’t a legit mechanic. He’s a guy who replaces parts for people and does oil changes out of his garage. I’ve noticed over the past few years that he can’t really diagnose a vehicle, and he won’t work on vehicles if the person who brings it in doesn’t tell him exactly what they want replaced.

I personally feel like she took it to him and had him do something to the truck, but I have no proof. This kind of petty isn’t beyond her - she slashed a neighbor’s pools once because they didn’t drain them out at the end of summer and “they were just breeding mosquitos”, and constantly reports minor things to the police.

My aunt told me last night that if my mom and I have it out I can stay with her family, and I’m really considering accusing my mom to her face of sabotaging the truck. If I do, I know she’ll kick me out, plus I still have to pay to have the truck taken to a real mechanic… But she’s been bitching at me nonstop about how much of a s****y decision I made and how she told me it was a waste of money.

So, WIBTA if I told her off and accused her of sabotaging my truck? I’m fairly certain that’s what happened and I’m about to break down under the stress and disappointment.

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: You also need to contact a lawyer regarding the payment from your father’s death. You are old enough to stand up for yourself, so why have you allowed this woman to take control of your life, sabotage and manipulate you? I think you personally need to get the hell out of that house, before she fuxks you up good and proper. Once you get own place, you can cut all ties with her and good riddance to her.

OOP: I agree. Respectfully though, it’s kind of hard to do all that when you started broke and someone is working hard to keep you that way. Lawyers around here don’t really like to do things on contingency, and trust me when I say the price of the truck I just bought barely covered the retainer for the more affordable ones. I’ve tried…

I’m sorry, I’m a mess right now. My aunt just offered me a place to stay yesterday because she honestly had no idea how things were. I’m probably going to start packing and moving out today, and have the truck towed to a mechanic.

Commenter 2: Do that and settle down for a bit. Write her a note: if you deny me acces to my dad’s inheritance I will take legal action. What kind of income does your mother have? If she receives something from the gov she prolly is commiting fraude if she’s so money hungry. That is something you can mention as well. First, get some rest and make a plan.

OOP: She gets a small retirement check from her former employer, and the house is paid off. I don’t think she gets any money from the government

Commenter 3: NTA How do you know your dad left you money? And where is it to the best of your knowledge? Did you ever see it or sign it over to your mom? You may not need to hire an attorney to recover it if you can figure out where it is.

OOP: My dad died from cancer five years ago. A few months before he died he told me that he had been putting money into a savings account out of every paycheck since before I was born, and was planning to surprise me with it when I graduated high school. He said there was almost $40k in it and my mom would take care of it until I graduated.

So, she has the account, and I know it still exists, because she gets the statements in the mail and that’s the only account that my parents had (that I know of) at this particular bank.

Commenter 4: I don’t think YWBTA, but I think the smarter thing to is just leave. Pack your stuff, drop the truck off at a mechanic, and go stay with your aunt.

Your mom is probably trying to keep you (and your paycheck) from wandering too far. This is a toxic mess I’d get out of ASAP.

Update: February 14, 2025 (three days later)

This will be the only update. This is an alt account I made because my mom knows about my other account I’ve had for a few years, so I’ll be deleting it this weekend.

So, to answer some questions that people asked.

Why don’t I get a better job?

I was working two part time jobs. Good jobs aren’t easy to come by where I live. That’s part of the complication with moving in with my aunt as she lives and hour away and I would have to find work all over again. That issue had been resolved though.

Did my dad leave a will?

If he did, I’ve never seen it. I don’t think he did, and when I asked my aunt about it on Thursday (she is my dad’s sister) she said she didn’t think he did. But, that’s part of the update.

The update itself is this - my mom and I did have a major argument and I am now at my aunt’s until I save up enough to get my own place. The argument wasn’t over the truck though, although that did come into play.

Basically, I took the advice of everyone who commented who said to just go no contact and move out. I had to make sure I could get a job though, and my uncle was able to get me a decent job as a construction laborer for the company he works for. I start Monday.

My aunt and uncle came over last night to load my truck onto a trailer and tow it to a mechanic closer to where they live. They are going to loan me the money to get it fixed.

I talked to my moms “mechanic” friend and he said that she brought it in for a tuneup. Because it was backfiring. Long story short, the timing belt started whining, so he replaced it. What my mom didn’t tell me was that the truck had to be towed home because he didn’t time it correctly and she was supposed to get a professional to look at it. That explains why the truck has only cranked once since then. So that’s the good news - the truck is fixable and my aunt and uncle are going to help me.

When I told my aunt the full story about the truck and the money my dad left for me, she got mad and told me that she and my uncle were coming over Thursday night to pick me and my truck up. She wouldn’t tell me what exactly she was mad about, but I was packed up that evening when they showed up.

As soon as she got there, she got into a fight with my mom asking her about my dad’s money. There was a lot of cursing and names called and my mom almost called the police but my aunt (and this scared the crap o…

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