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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/boringhistoryfan on 2025-02-22 00:17:23+00:00.

OOP is Substantial_Wheel999. They originally posted to AITA but it was deleted. The comments on the post are hilarious though. As is the title “AITA for asking my wife to respect my title a pilot?”

I AM NOT OOP. Do not comment on linked posts.

OP EDIT: Reddit search was unhelpful, but this was previously posted here. Thanks where-i-went for finding it. Updated the flair to repost and linking the OG BORU from back in the day.

All updates are in the same post.

Trigger Warnings: Entitlement, possible misogyny

What makes a pilot a pilot? Need advice from professional pilots. Jan 27 2023

Another sub removed my question, but I need the opinions of avgeeks and pilots on a matter involving my wife. I AM COMPLETELY SERIOUS AND I NEED HELP. /srs

My wife and I (together for 5 years, married for 2, no kids) have an amazing, happy relationship. I can’t recall a single time we’ve ever argued to the point of a breakup or divorce. This issue, however, is causing me to reconsider the health of our relationship. Since my wife and I have been together, I have worked as a manager for a restaurant chain. I am an extremely passionate aviation enthusiast in my free time. I have spent thousands of dollars on flight textbooks, sim gear, and even built my own a330 setup. I have never actually flown a plane or started flight training, but I have considered it for a long time. Even though my skills are not a career, I still consider myself as adept or possibly more knowledgeable than the average pilot.

That being said, here’s where the problem arises. My wife and I were invited to one of her male coworkers house for a barbecue (we live in California, too hot for winter activities). My wife is a senior software tech for a Covid startup. She’s worked there since 2020, a lucky catch after she was laid off from her previous job due to the virus. It was my first time meeting many of her now-close coworkers due to Covid and working from home. I had assumed she’d talked about me before, but as we were cycling through introductions I became less sure. We make our way down the line to the host of the party, a new male hire that she has grown platonically close with. We exchange casual conversation and Greg (host) asked what I do for a living. My wife chimes in with “He manages a [insert fast food chain], it certainly comes with some benefits (I’m assuming she’s referring to free food)”, in a voice that implied nothing was wrong with what she said. I very quickly corrected her and told him that I am a pilot. My wife already knows how insecure I am about my job and how I’d much rather be introduced by my hobby. I’ve earned the title of pilot through my 500+ hours on and sim and thousands of dollars put into my craft. I think it is incredibly disrespectful for her not to acknowledge my skills and training. Just because I don’t have the title of pilot on an overpriced piece of paper doesn’t mean I’m not a pilot.

I laughed it off with Greg and told him under my breath that my wife was often forgetful (which I’m sure he’s realized just from working with her). He seemed to brush it off casually. At this point, I’m fuming. I take a break from the party and resume when i’ve collected myself, not going much farther than exchanging some nasty glances at my wife for the rest of the night. As we pack into the car to leave, the argument starts. She feels as if I don’t deserve my title as a Pilot because I’m not professional. I told her she is completely insensitive to the work i’ve done and she will never understand what it’s like to study so much. Am I in the wrong? She’s currently on the couch as I type this. I need pilots to help me figure out how to convince her. Any advice is appreciated.

EDIT (2/3/23): I have read every comment possible and have been rung out by the entire internet lol. My wife found the post and opened the conversation before I could. She has now offered a second source of income so we can pay for both flight school and therapy. My wife is too good to me and too kind for the internet. Thank you to any kind comments. And to clear something up, my post was deleted off of most aviation-based subreddits and that’s how it ended up here, not for the purpose of trolling as many think (despite the tone tags, but this IS reddit). I want to apologize to both pilots and wives I have upset through my post. I’m working on it for the sake of my wife :)

EDIT (2/5/23): Newsweek article posted! Not sure if I can link it here but the title is “Man Explains Why Wife Should Call Him a Pilot Despite no Flight Training” by Alice Gibbs. It helps get the updated story out!!!

OP Edit: A little additional content

Commentator

Wait, so the resolution to this is that now your wife has to work two jobs to pay for you to get pilot lessons so that she will HAVE to call you a pilot even though it will still be your (very expensive) hobby and not your actual paid job?!

Unbelievable.

OOP:

The long term goal is to turn it into a career. I promise my wife is happy and grateful to help out with expenses. :)

Commentator 2

If this post is real, you do not deserve your wife. She is paying for pilot school and therapy after you belittled her achievements to the internet and her colleagues? She got this job because she was “lucky”? And what’s wrong with managing a restaurant?! I can’t even

OOP

I’m proud of my wife and her career. She usually works a day less a week than I do, and she found a second job she’s excited about. No shame in that :)