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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/melancollie_hill on 2023-09-02 03:40:40.

I (29F) left my cheating ex (38M) of 2.5 year back in June. I breached trust and went through his phone and discovered his betrayal of years of infidelity and I don’t regret a bit.

Back when we started dating in 2020, he (a sloppy and heavy drinker) passed out sitting out the toilet with his phone unlocked. I went through his phone and found several recent intimate messages between him and his ex, hundreds of nudes from women (those I recognized and myself included). I also discovered several videos and photos of him sleeping with men and using toys. I was shocked but didn’t judge since I am bisexual myself. My only request was that he was honest and loyal to only me and we’d be find (how foolish), and of course delete the nude pictures of women and men.

Flash forward to June 2023. During our entire relationship I never knew his phone password, didn’t have location turn on (he refused to be “tracked” by technology…) and I was so traumatized from the first time that I went through his phone that I was too scared to raise more questions or ask. At this point “what I didn’t know, didn’t hurt me”. In his best nature, he passed out on the toilet, phone on the floor, unlocked. I prepared myself for either finding nothing and being so guilty of breaking trust or finding out what I feared the entire time. And boy did I. The pictures he promised were deleted were all still in file with a burner email. Found photos and videos of him cheating on me with men in our home. HUNDREDS of conversations between him and other men about hooking up, hiding from their wives, and him giving out our address like candy to total strangers. He was cheating on me the entire time, and led me to believe that since it was with men that it was okay. It took about a month for me to leave him. He gaslight me to stay, lied to his therapist and myself about the extent of his cheating. Made myself sick reading about infidelity, Tedtalks, Reddit advice, etc. I was desperate and empty and a shell of a human being. I was fully prepared to take my life if I tested positive for anything because of him. It was a messy and dark summer. But my life has turned around so much, and he’s now known as a cheating liar who used me as a cover for his questionable sexuality.

Then today happened. I get a message from my best friend asking if he had a Snapchat. I know he did, because going through his account I found conversations and videos of him with men and women. My best friend informs me that she received a notification that he is now active on Snapchat under a pseudonym that sounded very familiar. Whilst searching for a papertrail I get another text from a mutual coworker asking why this pseudonym was linked to my ex’s contact. And another text…and another. My ex used the same username as his burner emails for another burner Snapchat. However this new one was linked to his phone, alerting everyone who had his number saved in their phone AND had Snapchat downloaded that he was active under a strange new name. Alerts went to my family, friends, his friends, his child….they all got this alert… A life full of secrecy and he managed to blow his entire cover. Our friends are asking and I’m letting them know who this “Jack Snow” really is.

My life has been SO good since I left him/cut him off. I’ve since worked on my own identity and self worth. I’ve reconnected with friends and family and back to my hobbies that I put away to spend more time with him. I knew there would be a day when he would jump back into the dating pool, and I was okay never knowing when. But today I found out he is back on his bullshit, as well as everyone else knowing too. This was karma that I ever expected to receive but absolutely deserved. Cheaters get caught and their karma will hit them.

Ladies/Men, know your worth. Do not settle. Do not ignore the red flags.