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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/lanaverse_ on 2025-10-30 19:44:44+00:00.

Woke up one morning with two little puncture marks on my hand red, swollen, and spaced perfectly apart like fang holes. I froze. My brain immediately screamed snake bite. My heart started pounding, my hand felt numb, my vision got blur ( it wasn’t) and I was seconds away from driving myself to the ER. I even checked under the bed with a broom like some kind of half-awake action hero.

Then I noticed my metal hairpin lying open on the pillow — the same one I’d clipped in my hair before falling asleep. Apparently it had slipped out during the night, jabbed into my hand while I slept, and left two perfect “fang” indents. I still showed to a doctor , he also laughed on me Within an hour the marks faded, but the embarrassment is eternal ;)

TL;DR: Thought a snake bit me in my sleep — turns out I just stabbed myself with a two-sided hairpin during the night.