AITAH for breaking up with my gf because she said she was pregnant?

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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2023-11-28 06:01:08.

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/sokka11615

Originally posted to r/AITAH

AITAH for breaking up with my gf because she said she was pregnant?

Trigger Warnings: emotional manipulation, double standards, verbal abuse, controlling behavior, claims of cheating

Original Post - Oct 9, 2023

I (20M) have been with my gf (21F) for one year. We are in college two states away from each other and doing long distance. At first everything was going smoothly. However, as time went on, she began to get upset over things that i believed to be minor. For example, following celebrities like Zendaya, and maintaining friendships with women who i knew before we started dating (who were also in our initial friend group).

Over time I recognized this as a double standard because she would openly talk about male celebrities that she found attractive and would repost their posts on social media. There have been many times where she would give me ultimatums and tell me if i didn’t do something (Removing women I’ve known for years from social media) she would break up with me. Recently whenever we would have arguments, she admittedly would say things with the intention of hurting my feelings and making me upset.

The most recent example, a couple days ago she texted me saying that she was pregnant. After i tried to call her multiple times, she texted me that she wasn’t sure if it was mine, implying that she had cheated on me with another man. She then told me that she was not pregnant, and that it was just a test/prank. When i asked her why she did it she said it was revenge for how I had made her feel.

After all this I called her and told her I was breaking up with her. To which she responded with crying and begging me not to. She insists that she is sorry, and that she will change. I know she loves me but i don’t know if she is actually going to change, or if she is just saying this so I will stay with her.

AITA for breaking up with her or should i give her another chance? I genuinely want this to work but i feel like she’s not willing to put in the effort to change so we can work through this. She has specifically told me in previous situations like this, that she wants to intentionally hurt my feelings when I do something that upsets her. She says that she didn’t mean it but I don’t know if I’m the asshole for standing by my decision to leave her.

Update - Nov 19, 2023

For context, my friends and I made this post a little over a month ago:

Please read it and come back so you can understand the full story.

If you don’t feel like reading the post, here is a quick summary: Our friend’s girlfriend is a terrible person, and here is why…

-She lied about being pregnant to our friend

-Suggested that she cheated on him

-Berated him for following female celebrities (like Madison Beer) but follows conventionally attractive male celebrities (like Timothee Chalamet and Tom Holland)

-Threatens to break up with him over any minor inconvenience

-Reposts TikToks about cheating on him, wanting to hurt him, and complaining about him

-Won’t let him maintain friendships with women he’s been friends with since elementary school

-Reposts TikToks about wanting to fuck male celebrities

-Admitted to wanting to physically abuse him

-Has socially isolated him

-He deleted Instagram

Basically, she is a waking double standard. She is emotionally manipulating him, and she is a major narcissist. He is convinced that she loves him and that she just has a different way of showing it. We have tried to warn him time and time again, but he refuses to listen to us.

We made this Reddit post to get some insight from the world on our friend’s situation. Unfortunately a few days after we made that post, his girlfriend travelled across states to visit him and they got back together. My friends and I are very torn about sending the Reddit post to him because we are unsure if he will be upset with us over it. We want him to read the post so he can hear what the comments have to say from an objective perspective since we all know her personally. He has already reblocked the girls who are in our friend group and has not been the same since he got back together with her. He has been declining our calls more often, being silent, not texting us back, and overall seeming sad.

He is aware that this is not good but is convinced that she loves him and he does not want to leave her. We don’t know what to do in this situation since we know this is clearly a toxic relationship. She hasn’t changed a bit from the last post we made, even though she promised him she would. Is it worth the risk of him being mad to show him the truth about her?

THIS IS A REPOST SUB – I AM NOT OOP.