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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/vacationslayer238 on 2023-07-23 06:12:53.


My husband and I have 3 kids, 9M, 8M, and 3F. The boys have been driving us crazy. They fight like cats and dogs. We’ve had countless talks with them about respecting each other, to no avail. I understand sibling rivalry but it’s gotten to the point it’s disruptive to us all, every day.

I already told my husband last week I wasn’t sure if the vacation was a good idea. My husband shut me down pretty much immediately and things went ahead as planned.

First of all, the 3.5 hour car ride was (predictably) hell. Boys fighting and riling each other up the whole time. Husband and I kept trying to reassure each other that things would be better once we got there and they would be too excited to cause trouble.

We were wrong. They had so many reminders of what not to do once we got to the rental house…so they do everything wrong from the get go.

Shoes on the white furniture? Check. Running in the house? Check. I turned my back for 2 seconds and the 8 y/o threw a box of chalk in the pool to keep his brother from getting it. We went out to lunch and they were out of control in the restaurant. 9M ran away from us in a strange place because he didn’t get his way.

We finally go to the beach and they are frankly being brats. Refusing sunscreen. Fighting over toys. Pushing their luck repeatedly going farther and farther out in the water than we told them to. Cursing.

By the time we got back to the house, it was around dinner time and I was fed up. They were totally ruining it for everybody. Nothing had worked and I told my husband we needed to go home, for the reasons mentioned above, mainly that they needed to see a REAL consequence.

My husband still insisted it would get better. I put my foot down and told him that I didn’t even want to be there at that point so either I was leaving, or we all were. He got super pissed and told me it was ridiculous and unfair to our daughter. I actually agree with him but saw no other choice at this point. Of course when I tell the kids they immediately burst into tears and are begging to stay, promising they will behave.

My mother, who came with us, was also near tears. She thinks her precious grandbabies do no wrong. She argued with me too, begging me to “just let it go” but I refused to budge. So, we left, less than 24 hours into a 4 day vacation.

Half the ride home was spent with them sobbing and my husband pretty much gave me the silent treatment the whole way. My mother decided to stay behind a little longer but then started randomly texting me about 30 minutes in, asking if I was serious (she knew I was) and told me the whole reason she came was to spend time with the kids, so I had now “ruined it for everybody” and “they’re only little once”.

Here we are the following evening and pretty much no one likes me right now except my 3-year-old. Are they right? AITA?

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    11 year ago

    Get the boys enrolled in karate asap.

    You’ve tried talking to them and it isn’t working. You’ve tried talking to them again and it still isn’t working. You’ve continued to try to talk to them about it and it isn’t working.

    Maybe it’s time to try an intervention other than talking?