Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Please read trigger warnings as this is a dark post.

Trigger Warnings: child abuse; child neglect; giving a child medication they do not need; eating disorder; illness from eating disorder; appendix removal

Mood Spoiler: incredibly sad, but OOP is getting help

Original Post: June 14, 2024

18F 5’7 98lbs

This is a throwaway account because I don’t want anyone to know… I guess I should include a TW for my crappy childhood and stuff. This is really long. I’m sorry.

I turned 18 4 days ago. I’m leaving to go to college out of state in Minnesota in like a month but I’m in alabama right now. I moved out and I’m living with my friend and her parents for right now because my parents are getting divorced and it’s ugly, so I’m safe in my environment.

I have an appointment with my pediatrician I’ve had since birth before I go to college for a physical…and I’ve been debating if I want to admit some things to her or not now that I’m an adult. Two things, actually. Or three I guess. And I have questions about what’s going to happen if I do. I’m really anxious and I’m starting to tear up even thinking about it.

Basically my doctor thinks I’m just naturally underweight and that I’m happy and healthy and stuff, but I’ve been intentionally keeping my weight low since I was about 10. My mom was worried when I hit puberty that I would get overweight like her and that I was eating too much junk and so she taught me to count calories. For years she would make me wear a rubber band on my wrist and snap it on the inside of my arm anytime I wanted to eat to try and teach me to not want to eat basically. She taped pictures of fat people on snack boxes and would make me weigh myself every morning to decide how many calories I could have. She’s even tried to get me to smoke cigarettes with her before because she said it would kill my appetite. She told me I’m lucky because others girls don’t have moms who care about them and how they look, but the older I’ve gotten the more it seems like this is actually really awful of her. She’s always made me feel bad. I see videos on TikTok about almond moms and it seems like her.

I’ve never had my period. Ever. I lied to my doctor and said I got it but I haven’t. I don’t know if that’s normal but I think it’s probably not by now. My mom keeps saying I’m a late bloomer.

I think I might be anorexic. And I’m really, really tired. My hair is coming out and I’m so pale and my head always hurts and my heart feels heavy in my chest when I’m exercising. I get dizzy when I stand. I’m anemic, and my doctor asked if I was having heavy periods and I said yes because I didn’t know what else to say so that was a lie too and she thinks that’s why I’m anemic. Sometimes I even faint. I was supposed to take a teen vitamin but my mom said they are full of chemicals and fillers and would make me sick so I haven’t gotten one. I can’t sleep unless I smoke weed no matter how tired I am. My doctor doesn’t know I smoke either. My mom would be pissed if she knew because she said pot is for lazy people.

I just want all this to stop but I don’t know how. I tried eating more but I panic if I go over 750 calories a day and there’s only like 5 foods that are safe, and I’m afraid to drink anything that isn’t clear. I’m scared and I can’t live like this. But I’m afraid of what will happen if I tell my doctor. Will she be mad at me? Will she yell at me for lying? Can I get help figuring out how to eat without being scared but not have to go in a hospital? I don’t want to lose my place at college. I worked SO hard for my scholarship. Will I have to gain weight? Will they tell my parents now that I’m 18? Can I be forced into anything? Will I get in trouble for the weed? Im just lost and scared and trying to figure this out because I don’t want to be like this anymore.

TL;DR now that I’m 18 what happens if I admit to my pediatrician that I smoke weed, I’m probably anorexic, and I’ve never had a period.

Thank you to anyone with advice

Relevant Comments:

Editor’s note: OOP gets a lot of answers to her questions about confidentiality in the comments, but I only included a few of her responses. Ultimately, docs were divided on what Alabama law might require or allow as far as not telling her parents.

Commenter: I can’t say for sure but talk with the office about it because they will know the laws. Medical consent in Alabama is 14 years old, which means a minor 14 and older can consent to healthcare without their parents/guardians. This doesn’t necessarily imply confidentiality, but it’s worth asking, especially at your age.

OOP: Wait really? Does that mean at 14 I could’ve said I didn’t want my mom in the appointment with me? She told me it wasn’t allowed until after I was married to make her leave

Commenter: What would happen if you didn’t get married until you’re 35. Would you be 35 with your Mom still able to control everything? You can ask her to not be there.

OOP: Oh. I’m sorry. I guess that was a really stupid thing to believe. I didn’t even think about that far ahead :/ she just blew up the one time I asked her if I could go alone and I didn’t ask again

In response to a longer comment:

Thank you. I really did want to believe her. The last year or so I got on TikTok and Reddit and I’ve been seeing things that just make me really confused about how she treats me and that’s how I figured out that my eating wasn’t normal. She’s really nice sometimes though, she’ll braid my hair before bed and she does my chores for me when I have a lot of homework and she makes me tea when I’m not feeling good. It’s just hard to put the two sides together. I thought the easiest way would just be to get far away

On going to college and eating there:

I am going to be on campus, in a dorm. I have a meal plan, I was required to get one, but honestly the idea of eating in a giant cafeteria and having to go through a line really fast with all those people around makes me feel sick to my stomach so I wasn’t going to use it. I thought maybe I could just eat in my room

Commenter: If you have specific dietary needs—and you do—you should be able to get your food arranged ahead of time so you can get it to go or pick it up in a separate line, at least some of the time.

OOP: That would be really helpful. I just get really overwhelmed when there’s a lot of choices and people and noise and it takes me forever to choose and I hate being watched when I eat

Editor’s Note: OOP posted the same post in a different sub- I’m only including one comment:

Commenter: You should absolutely tell your doctor. Your mom encouraged you to have an eating disorder. That’s abusive. (By the way, have you ever read I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jenette McCurdy? Her mom did the same stuff to her growing up. It was an eye opening book to read.) 750 calories is not enough for you and that’s why you haven’t started your period yet. You do have an eating disorder. You need treatment from a physician and therapy to relearn that eating is not bad.

OOP: Thank you. I haven’t read the book yet but I loved watching Sam and Cat when I was younger. Do you think I’ll ever get my period? Is it too late? I’m worried I ruined that forever

OOP Comments an hour later (Same Day)

Thank you for answering all my questions. I can’t believe I ended up turning to reddit but I wasn’t sure where else to go. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I’m so tired all the time and I feel like everything around me is far away. I don’t ever feel happy, I just know when I’m supposed to look like it. I worked so hard for my scholarship so I could get as far away as possible and it’s the only thing I’ve ever been proud of or done right and I’m just so afraid if I admit what’s going on that I would lose it and get stuck here

Mini Update in Comments (3 hours later)

To update everyone- Thank you for the advice. I ended up going to the ER a town over, alone. I turned off my location on my phone and I didn’t give them any emergency contacts so I should be able to be here without anyone finding out hopefully. I told the check in lady everything. The nurse said my vitals aren’t very good and my heart rate hasn’t been over 50 since I’ve been here and my ekg was kind of weird and my potassium is 1.4 [OOP clarifies she meant 2.4] so they want to keep me overnight and have me get fluids, so I’m here now. They said I’ll have a social worker too so maybe they can help me figure out keeping my parents out of things. The doctor was really nice and said he would contact my doctor and we would figure things out

Relevant Comments:

Commenter: Holy shit. Are you sure it was 1.4? I…

Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1dqatkf/what_will_happen_if_i_am_honest_with_my/

What will happen if I am honest with my pediatrician? Can they force me in a hospital?

What will happen if I am honest with my pediatrician? Can they force me in a hospital?

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Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Please read trigger warnings as this is a dark post.