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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/secure-raspberry-763 on 2024-06-29 22:36:36+00:00.

I am not OP. That is u/KitchenRabbit5024 who posted to r/AITAH

Original Post  June 17th, 2024

So for context I 36M have a younger sister 26F. We were born 10 years and 2 months apart. Our mother died when I was 18 and I had to drop out of college to take custody of my little sister. We didn’t have a father growing up so I took the responsibility of treating my sister how I thought a man should treat her. I spoiled her and never let anyone mistreat her.

Now for where I may be an asshole. My sister had her first baby at 23. She had HG really bad. Which if you don’t know is a rare condition pregnant women get that causes uncontrollable nausea and vomiting. She had to be hospitalized for the first 4 months of her pregnancy. She had to have a GI tube and lost 80lbs in 3 months. It was horrible. We were told she wouldn’t make it if the condition kept up. She pulled through but she was scared to get pregnant again.

Fast forward and my sister is now pregnant with her second baby but she has HG again and it’s about as bad as her first. She has been in the hospital for the last couple of months losing weight and has more or less been unconscious the whole time. She was awake yesterday and a new doctor came in. I’ve never met this man. He kept ignoring my sister and talking to her husband. Her husband kept looking to my sister and kept trying to direct the doctor to talk to my sister as she was the one going through the HG. After awhile he finally acknowledged my sister but kept rolling his eyes at the things she said. I know my sister saw this but she kept trying to talk. I just watched in silence and the doctor directed his attention to me before asking if I could verify if any of what she was saying was true. I asked him what he meant by that. He said that women’s emotional state during pregnancy is not considered valid due to how out of balance their hormones are. They can become dramatic and can’t fully be taken at their word. My sister was on the verge of tears but didn’t say anything. I was furious that her husband didn’t defend her. Now I’m like 6’4 240lbs. I tower over this man. I stood up and got in his face demanding a new doctor. He told me I needed to calm down and take a seat. I got more angry and said he needed to stop being a scumbag of a doctor and find us someone else to look after my sister. That I wasn’t going to allow a man to talk about my sister like she wasn’t there and disregard her condition that she’s obviously being hospitalized for. He left and we got a female doctor a few hours later. My sister didn’t say anything but her husband called me an asshole for getting in the doctors face. I explained that the only good thing he did was try to direct the doctor to talk to my sister but failed as a husband to defend her when the doctor basically said she was faking everything.

Hospital security did have to talk to me and explained they understood I was upset but that I’d be asked to leave if I had an outburst like that again.

So am I the asshole?

Update  June 18th, 2024

Original post:

Well, an update a lot sooner then I planned but needed.

Sisters husband may be Ex husband soon. So even though I’m a huge advocate for my sister I still have a job. I work overnights and partial days to help provide for my sister and niece since she’s been unable to work for a while. This morning, I came back to the hospital with breakfast and heard my sister screaming from her room. I rushed in and found my sister in hysterics. The male doctor from yesterday was standing by the back wall, just rolling his eyes with my sisters husband by him. I, of course, got pissed off and demanded to know why he was in my sister’s room. In a comment yesterday, i mentioned how the doctor asked my sister if she was going to get a hysterectomy after this baby, and she said yes. The doctor rolled his eyes at her. My sister, through her tears, explained that her husband had come in and  talked to the doctor and that both of them ganged up on her to convince her not to have a hysterectomy. She said they told her that she was too young and that her husband obviously wanted more than 2 kids, and it was her responsibility to give that to him.

Im my sisters POA, so they’d either have to go through her or me, and since my sister doesn’t normally stand up for herself, they thought they could bully her into changing her mind. Keep in mind my sister is only 6 months along, so she still has time before the baby is due, but not much. I called security and asked that both my BIL and the doctor be removed. I also called the police. I’m going to see if I can file charges on the doctor because what he did was horrible and disgusting. My sister told BIL that he wasn’t allowed back to the hospital and said she would get a protection order if she had to. Several calls were made to MIL, who I guess ripped BIL a new one. I asked my boss if I could take a little time off work so I could stay with my sister full time to ensure this doesn’t happen again. Mil has neice and has told BIl he isn’t allowed around her until he gets his head on right and begs my sister for forgiveness.

Edit to add: I called police because the doctor was told he was not allowed to go into my sister’s room until the hospital did an investigation for the complaint I filed yesterday. Not only did he go against instructions from his bosses, but he refused to leave when my sister begged him and BIL to. What they did was borderline harresment.

Update 2  ,June 22nd, 2024

Original post:

Update 1: (For the asshole who got butthurt I stood up for my sister in comment section)

Hey guys, sorry for not posting an update. The last few days since my last one have been hectic and stress filled. I wanna start off by saying thank you to everyone. The amount of support, understanding, and kindness my sister and I have gotten has been incredibly nice given how rough the situation has been. 

I had a meeting with the hospital CEO, their lawyers, myself, my lawyer, and a few others. I was first asked if I intended to file a lawsuit. I told them yes but mainly against the doctor who is employed under them. I expressed that he was really the only issue we’ve had here but that I’d take this situation to court if need be. My lawyer presented theirs with written notes from other hospital staff, mainly females, about various aspects of his behavior towards them and other unnamed female patients. While I wasn’t able to get information about the patients he’d done similar things to due to Hippa, the nurses were more than willing to offer their support. These notes ranged from sexual harresment, misogynistic comments, and behaviors to threats of having some of these girls fired. The hospital read over everything, and they appeared disgusted over what they were reading. From my understanding, most complaints made against this man were dropped before they ever reached the CEO who acted like they had no idea this was happening.

I was asked what I wanted out of this meeting. I told them I wanted the jerk fired and his medical license revoked. I also wanted him blacklisted from every hospital possible, so he couldn’t do this again. I know it may seem harsh, but he could have caused damage to my sister and her baby. I informed them I had already made calls to my sister’s insurance company and the state medical board. The hospital ceo informed me they were aware of the call to the medical board, hence why part of why this meeting was happening. I was then told that the doctor would be fired immediately and that they and the medical board would deal with his medical license. I was honestly happy with that. Thinking we were done, I was ready to leave. I wanted to get back to my sister. I was asked to remain seated. I had an envelope pushed towards me, which had a few sheets of paper. Long story short, I was offered a settlement if I agreed not to take this to court, and they would handle the doctor. I won’t say how much, but it was a pretty penny. I was told it was for my sister’s pain and suffering as well as emotional damage. My lawyer said I should take it as long as they held up their end of the deal. I was promised they would, but we’ll see.

I don’t have any updates yet about my BIL, but I’ll make another update as soon as I know more. Thank you again, everyone. There is obviously a lot more legal shit that’s gotta happen, but I wanted to give yall the short of it because otherwise, I’d be here forever. So please don’t come into my comments saying “it doesn’t happen that fast” or “it’s not that easy” I’m aware but I don’t wanna be typing out ever single aspect of that meeting.

I am not the original poster. Please don’t contact or comment on linked posts