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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No-Willingness-4093 on 2023-08-12 02:06:50.
My friend’s son is in his mid twenties and took his life a few months ago. She has been quiet on social media since it all happened, which I found interesting because her other sons and ex-husband were not shy to make any posts expressing their love for their son.
Today is his birthday and as expected, the ex-husband writes a sweet facebook post along with many of her son’s other friends. She has been silent all day and I have not seen anything from her. Truthfully, I know everyone grieves different, but to me it sends a bad message that she’s been so silent but posting about her new boyfriend and the things they’ve been up to. It almost seems like she doesn’t care about her son, but who am I to judge or really know what’s going on behind the scenes.
I messaged her telling her I’m thinking of her today and hope she’s hanging in there and she responds back saying thank you with a heart. I then asked if she was going to make a post for him and she said that she was not. All I said in return is “Just make sure people don’t get the wrong idea that you don’t care! I think it would be a really sweet tribute”
She never responded, but one of our mutual friends called me basically screaming at me and calling me an AH and told me never to message my friend again and asked if I knew how much damage I caused sending that message.
AITA?
Kindof the A, you even said that people grieve differently, so pushing what you deem to be the appropriate response is a little presumptuous. I see where you are coming from, but if I had lost someone that close to me, I wouldn’t care what the public perception of how I’m greiving is.
Also Social media isn’t even for everyone, I don’t use Facebook, so would it be shitty of me to not make a post about a dead relative even though I dont use the platform anymore?