Just found out husband fabricated entire life...can I get an annulment, and how do I get him out?

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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 on 2024-09-18 04:02:03+00:00.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/PopRocks241

Just found out husband fabricated entire life…can I get an annulment, and how do I get him out?

Originally posted to r/legaladvice

TRIGGER WARNING: emotional abuse and manipulation, fraud

[Georgia] Just found out husband fabricated entire life…can I get an annulment, and how do I get him out? Jan 28, 2019

I met my husband four years ago, just before moving from PA to GA. Shortly after my move he followed me, and we fell in love. We lived together from 2015 onward, and in mid-November 2018 we married.

Today I discovered that virtually everything he has ever told me or demonstrated about his life was a complete fabrication. From specific medical issues to jobs (past and present) to education to family relationships to the claim that his first language was not English to phone conversations that never happened to people he knows to…if you can think it, he has lied about it.

We live together but my name is on the lease and I hold the title on both of our cars. He has some belongings in our home, but most of it has been purchased with money that I have earned over our four years together – plus money from my personal savings account. I am totally open to letting him walk with all of ‘his’ stuff, and even signing the older car to him.

After a quick internet search it looks like I might have grounds for annulment of my marriage, on the basis of being seriously misled. Do I? What will I need to be able to prove in order to make it work, and is there anything else I need to keep in mind to aim for an annulment instead of a divorce?

He is mentally ill (though quite differently than I was led to believe) and receives SSDI each month, but that is nowhere near enough for him to live on. What is the legal way to get him out of my house and life with minimal risk, damage, and cost to me?

Also, do I look for a divorce lawyer in this situation? (sorry if that’s a dumb question)

Also also, how does custody of pets work? We have two kittens we got in July and I can’t imagine separating them. I also can’t imagine him being able to take care of them once we’re separated, but I don’t know if that matters.

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

OOP posted a comment on things her husband lied about

Here

I’ve had a bunch of questions about what, specifically, the man in question lied about. Here’s a partial list:

that he went to school in Britain, met his (ex-)wife there, and lived there for about twenty years before returning to the US
that he went to the bank and tried to close out our joint account but couldn’t do it because he wasn’t an authorized signer on the account
full list of emergency medical information, including doctor’s names and phone numbers, and list of medications he was (wasn’t) one
that his grown kids stole about $2000 from him and kicked him out of his own house
that he’d managed to scrape together enough money to buy a house but then his property tax increased and he ended up losing the house in an totally unfair turn of events turns out he’d so egregiously messed up his family’s finances that his ex-wife ended up losing the home she grew up in
that his father had abused him horribly as a kid and that his mom had stood by and let it happen
that his aunt and uncle were the only relatives who’d really cared for him – and his uncle had died suddenly of a heart attack (right before we really got serious) uncle is still alive and well, btw
that he’d been in Berlin when the wall came down
that he was harassed at the grocery store by some random lady that didn’t like the way he looked
that he grew up speaking Polish as a first language
that he walked and talked in his sleep (in his first language Polish…as a side effect of the medication he was wasn’t on
that his dad was a wood-worker and was making furniture for us
that his brother worked for DARPA
that his aunt was a nun
that a nurse at the hospital had told him some things about my dad’s case that we needed to attend to
that he had a specific job with a host of people he worked with on a regular basis – and all the stories he told me on a nearly daily basis about those people
that his boss had bought him the fancy new watch he had on his wrist
that Mr. Park the camera repair guy did work on his cameras for free or at a discount
countless lies about money spent or refunds unavailable for all kinds of reasons
that his counselor had actually said exactly what I just said when they’d talked about it, too! this happened over and over again
That he was bipolar and borderline schizophrenic (but well controlled and committed to taking his meds)
that he was feeling ‘down’ at a given time
that he’d posted a sign at work to collect donations for a cause I cared about, and now the only problem was finding a truck big enough to transport it all this was the lie that led to the end
that he’d met the Queen
that he’d been commissioned to make artwork for Harry and Megan – and a special concierge for the Queen had come for tea to pick it up
that he got shot at in this bad neighbourhood this one time
that a candidate in a local election campaign had some specific and objectionable position
that he’d talked to so-and-so, and such-and-such had happened, and isn’t that awesome/awful/stupid/tremendous
that some awful person had hit the front of our car in the parking lot and never left a note (but it’s okay because he filed a report with the cops, who won’t be able to do anything anyway)
that gallery some-name had bought his artwork. But also the payment got screwed up.
that his ex-wife had cheated on him continually
that he’d done some-activity on any-random-day
that he’d been asked to interview for a job at…
that he’d messed up his knee and went to get it fixed, but his insurance didn’t cover it, so he had to pull money out to pay for it
that he had medical insurance
that he’d been on the highway in Britain and his motorcycle broke down. On his way to get help he was hit by a car, and that’s how his leg got messed up.
that he’d looked for places to live after I was moving out but he couldn’t find anything and so he needed to stay with me to avoid homelessness
that he needed our cats to keep him in a good mental space (see above re. mental illness lies…)
that he’d actually broken a rib in that car accident we’d just had, but don’t worry he’d be okay
that some FBI agents had interviewed him because Trump
that he had $ pending with some lawsuits in PA but also who knows if/when that will appear because wouldn’t you know it but the entire law from had been busted for I-forget-what
that he’d divorced his wife many years before he met me
that he loved me

(Edit: fixed list formatting!)

Update Feb 16, 2020 (1 year later)

[Update] Just found out husband fabricated entire life…

Edit: This post got more attention than I expected, and awards I didn’t even know existed (thanks, kind strangers!). A few notes for the curious among you:

for more specifics on things he lied about, there’s a partial list here
follow this link for comprehensive evidence that cats make the internet go-round
the best advice I can give for those stuck in an abusive or otherwise horrible relationship is this: (1) no matter what you think now, it will be better if you get out, (2) find people who will give you the kind of advice you’d give someone if roles were reversed, then do what they tell you that you should do, (3) when you’re ready to process everything, find a therapist to help you through it, and (4) as well as you can, act in ways that will allow you to look yourself in the eye when it’s over, because that will matter and also it will help you in the long run.
there’s a disturbing number of people out there who have lived through things like this and much worse. Please be kind to one another, support those who need it, and refuse to tolerate poor treatment of others.

Now back to the original post…

Original post here.

It’s been a little bit over a year since I turned to this community as my life fell rather dramatically to pieces around me. My original post didn’t get a ton of attention, but the replies I received helped me tremendously, and seeing where I am a year later may also provide some hope for those going through their own crisis. In particular, you helped me construct my initial list of immediate-to-do items, and put me on the right track to figure out how to extricate myself from the relationship.

The day I first posted here was the day I found out that my then-husband had lied and fabricated most of what I knew about him. Other things I did that day included teaching a class to 200 undergrads about 15 minutes after I found out for sure, and kicking of…

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