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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2024-11-07 05:00:08+00:00.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/PsychFactor, Originally posted to r/offmychest

BoRU #1: Part 1 / BoRU #1: Part 2 / BoRU #2

[New Update]: I think my husband fathered his best friend’s children, and now one of them is attracted to my daughter.

NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----

Trigger Warnings: infidelity, destruction of property, deception, emotional abuse and manipulation, incest, mentions of sexual assault, death of a parent

Editor’s Note: I am starting this continuing BoRU with TL;DRs to make things easier to fit everything in one post instead of multiple parts. Feel free to go back to the original BoRUs, Part 1 and 2, for the full text of all prior posts Part #1 & Part 2

Removed older relevant comments for more spaces in here to add the new update

RECAP & TL;DRs, for Original, Updates #1 - #4, and Brief Update:

Original Post: September 2, 2024

OOP (42F) is married to Luke, 43. His best friend is Amy, also 43. OOP and Luke met in college while he has known Amy since they were 7. They are best friends, “surrogate siblings”, and do everything together. OOP and Luke have a great life together and see Amy frequently. OOP thought of finding a man for Amy so she could have a family, but no luck. OOP lists her (and Luke’s) children along with Amy’s children for easier reading.

OOP and Luke’s children: Sophie, (15) Owen, (12) Louise, (10) and Carter (6)

Amy’s children: Tom, (17) Kaylee, (14) and twins, Adam and Jenna, (9)

Amy was not in a committed relationship and occasionally dating, found herself pregnant without knowing the fathers of her children. She was unconcerned about raising them alone, OOP and Luke supported her financially and emotionally. There is the close friendship between Luke and Amy, OOP begun to suspect Luke may be the father of at least one, if not all, of Amy’s children, given the lack of other significant relationships in Amy’s life. Having doubts, OOP struggles with the idea of Luke being unfaithful, because they have strong family bond with all children growing up together. After OOP and Luke’s youngest child’s birth, they decided Luke should have a vasectomy, since then, Amy didn’t get pregnant again, making OOP questioning the timing of these events.

Luke regularly visits Amy and her children, taking on a fatherly role, which seemed suspicious. OOP noticed similarities in appearances between Luke and Amy’s children, such as shared allergies and physical traits, leading her to question the possibility of Luke being the biological father. OOP acknowledges their backgrounds differ, Amy’s children appear biracial, which caused further doubts about their paternity. OOP kept suspicions about Luke and Amy’s relationship to herself, fearing her concerns would make her the “bad guy” and harm their families. OOP reflects Amy’s unsureness toward motherhood, suggesting Luke’s involvement with her children may not stem from the desire to help her have kids.

OOP keeps her guards up regarding her daughter Sophie, who attracted the attention of Tom, Amy’s eldest. Sophie declined Tom’s invitation to date, out of respect due to parental boundaries. OOP’s refusal to allow the relationship led to a conflict, as Sophie didn’t understand why. With OOP’s concerns, Amy and Luke supported her position, though Luke expressed worry that forbidding romance might intensify Sophie’s interest. Overtime, it showed Tom was increasingly drawn to Sophie, spending more time together, leaving OOP feeling protective and powerless to prevent the romance. Sophie claims they are just friends, Tom is being affectionate, raising suspicions regarding secret dating. OOP feels helpless with the possible relationship between Sophie and Tom, who might or might not be her half-brother due to Luke and Amy’s affair. OOP grapples with emotional turmoil of possibly exposing the truth about the children’s paternity, that could shatter family dynamics and hurt innocent parties.

Update #1: September 5, 2024

OOP decided to confront Luke and Amy regarding the suspicions she had about their close bonding and possible affair. Luke and Amy gave OOP well-rehearsed responses as she expected. Amy was upset about the accusations against her. Luke was more understanding and respected OOP’s feelings about her suspicions. Betrayal is going all around for all three. OOP asked Luke for the paternity tests which upset him but he agreed to it to give her the peace of mind on the children’s identities. Amy didn’t want to do the DNA test, she got so mad at OOP for the accusations and told OOP she won’t get her children’s DNA samples. Luke has continued with his claims that nothing has happened between him and Amy all of those years.

Tom is old enough to consent on his DNA sample, but if he and Amy refuse to take DNA tests, OOP might ask Luke to check with Tom’s younger siblings. Luke doesn’t want to take Amy to the court for this to happen. Here is where OOP is worried, OOP was hoping Luke could talk with Tom to prevent him from pursuing a relationship with Sophie. Luke is hoping OOP could reconcile with Amy, but she doesn’t think so. FIL and MIL (Luke’s parents, Jim and Cat) learn about OOP’s fears regarding Luke and Amy. Turned out Cat had same suspicions that OOP had. Jim is denying the fact on Luke and Amy having an affair, maintaining Luke and Amy are best friends and “siblings”. Cat has wondered if Amy’s children were fathered by Luke.

Update #2: September 6, 2024

OOP decided it was time to talk with Sophie away from the rest of families because Sophie is old enough to acknowledge her father’s possible affair with Amy. Once Sophie heard what OOP told her about Luke and Amy, she asked her mother if they could ask Tom to join them. OOP fills Tom on what she told Sophie. Turned out Tom and Sophie also had the same suspicions OOP did on their parents! Both Sophie and Tom explained to OOP what they knew so far and how they hatched a little plan of having a fake relationship to see if they could get solid evidence against Luke and Amy. OOP was relieved to learn the truth behind Tom and Sophie’s “relationship” and now has them in her corner. After their lengthy conversations, Tom has volunteered his DNA sample so OOP can see if Luke is his father or not.

Update #3: September 8, 2024

DNA results are not back yet on if Tom and Sophie are siblings or not, but it will be a while. OOP has been talking with both Sophie and Tom, so OOP could gather all evidence that she needs for her lawyers to take a look regarding the divorce proceedings OOP is looking into taking. OOP clarifies several possibilities regarding Amy’s children’s paternity. OOP does not believe Jim was having an affair with Amy. OOP’s house is in her name, not Luke so she has the legal documents and could have Luke move out by then.

With Tom and Sophie’s fake relationship plan in the play, OOP wasn’t able to find anything from Luke’s devices. From comments, OOP was able to dig deeper and located deleted messages between Luke and Amy, talking about OOP being the problem. OOP immediately knew it was an affair behind her back. Letters, videos, and pictures were found too. That sent OOP into a plan, packing Luke’s stuff and kicked him out of the house after presenting the divorce papers to him. Luke realized he got caught and begged to work things out with OOP, but she wasn’t having it. OOP’s children now know their father has to be away for a few days, only Sophie knew about the affair. Jim and Cat are now troubled with Luke’s version on why he was showing up at their doorstep after OOP kicked him out. Cat knew the truth and Jim wasn’t sure what to believe now. Amy has gone radio silence after OOP’s conflict with her and Luke.

Update #4: September 12, 2024 (6 days later)

OOP has been working with her lawyer, Paige, regarding the divorce papers and evidence she has on Luke and the affair. OOP happened to snapped her family lawyer, Zach, who represented Luke and OOP on an unrelated case. She has also taken a few steps ahead of Luke to get things squared away with proper documentation and primary custody of her kids with supervised visits for Luke. After the whole thing has blown up, OOP has been in therapy and working on getting her kids therapy too to cope with what happened and moving forward in the healthy ways. OOP has working on doing the age-appropriate talks with her children regarding the divorce with their father.

DNA results are in! Sophie and Tom are not siblings! For any doubts, the tests did not show Jim fathered Amy’s children because it would require a percentage of Jim’s DNA to show up. OOP, Tom, and Sophie are now confused too on the result…

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