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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Sea_Percentage2471 on 2023-08-24 21:49:27.
I (40 m) have a daughter, Clara (8 f). My wife Jenna just recently passed away, and I’ve been struggling with it. These past few months, Clara has been really difficult to deal with; she often throws temper tantrums anytime we go out or whenever I ask her to do something.
Yesterday night I was putting Clara to bed and she demanded I tuck her favorite teddy bear into bed like her mom does. I told her no and went to leave the room. She then got out of bed and started screaming and demanding I do it like mom and that she wanted her mom to do it and why she couldn’t mom be here to do it. I lost my temper and screamed at her no and that her mom isn’t here anymore and she needs to accept it and stop acting like a baby. I slammed her door and went down to the living room to cool off, and when I was heading to bed, I could hear her sobbing through the door, but I decided to just let her be.
The morning I called my MIL to come take Clara off my hands for awhile, as I was putting her suitcase in the trunk of my MIL’s car, I noticed her favorite teddy bear wasn’t there, I ran back into the house to go get it for her. I came back out and tried giving her the teddy bear, but she completely ignored me and wouldn’t take it.
Later, my neighbor Jim (52 m) came over and asked to borrow my lawnmower. I thought since he has kids himself, he would understand my point of view. He said what I did was a dumb move, and Clara is struggling too. I don’t think Clara quite understands what’s happening and is deciding to act out for the sake of doing so but AITA?
YTA. YTFA. You’re a goddamn adult screaming at an 8 year old who just lost their mother.
Leave the kid with her MIL, they’re gonna be a better parent and do less damage than you
This is a repost, so OP isn’t here, but yes, OP is TA.
I get it, he’s suffering, but so is his kid and he seems unable to acknowledge how hard it is for her. He needs to go to her, say he was wrong for yelling, and find some way for them both to be sad together.