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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/LucyAriaRose on 2025-03-26 04:54:05+00:00.

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is NotWillingToShare. She posted in r/AmItheAsshole and r/AITAH

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Mood Spoiler: happy ending

Original Post: January 31, 2025

When I was 17 my mom came into money. She tried to keep it quiet but she paid off my dad’s debts, bought him a small house, paid off her debts and paid for my sister’s college and set up funds for mine. She had a boyfriend at the time and shortly after him and his son who was 7 moved into our new house.

Over the next few years mom bought my sister a house after she graduated college. Her boyfriend lived with us and didn’t pay anything but he did work.

When I was 21 mom got diagnosed with cancer. It wasn’t good. She sat me and my sister down and went over exactly how much money there was. She intended to give her current house to me and both me and my sister were left with a large sum at the end of it. She asked if I would allow her boyfriend to stay in the house with his son until he got his own place. I agreed.

Before she died she told her boyfriend he would need to look for his own place but had time to save more for that journey.

For the last 4 years he has continued to reside in the house with his son. I haven’t minded because we get along okay. I pay all the bills but he does buy food for him and his kid.

He has dated off and on and mostly kept the women out of this house which I respected him for. Until his current partner. She’s been in my house 3 times and at first besides feeling a little uncomfortable I was okay with her. The last time this past weekend was the point where I lost my shit.

I was making myself some lunch when she came walking downstairs. She grabbed a plate and went to grab food out of my pan. I asked her what she thought was doing. She started telling me how I should look for somewhere else to live and leeching off my dead mom’s past relationship as an adult was pathetic.

I hollered for my mom’s old boyfriend he came down and I told him I didn’t know what he current thing thought but I wasn’t going to be disrespected in my house. He wouldn’t even look me in the eyes as he mumbled something about my mom promising him the house and he was just “being kind” letting me stay.

First that isn’t remotely true. Mom pulled him and i together after she asked if he could stay to set expectations. My mom met him shortly before she won the money and told him and us girls that she had no intention of leaving him money. She did set aside a fund for his son for college when he gets there but he cannot touch it, only his son can. He has lived in this house almost 8 years without paying a dime he should have plenty of money and if he doesn’t that’s on him.

I told him he had 30 days to leave. I wasn’t going to house someone who would lie and disrespect me in my house. He left that night with his son but his ex wife called to tell me I am cruel and an AH for her son losing his house (he is here every other week).

I really feel like my mom didn’t expect him to still be here but my sister said she feels like I am breaking my promise to my mom and that made me feel like maybe I am the AH.

Some of OOP’s Comments:

Commenter: If it happened exactly how you said, you’re not the asshole.

If she did say he had time to save, but would need to look for his own place, that means she never imagined or wanted him staying for long. So you’re breaking no promises.

Did she leave him any money or assets? It’s totally possible that your mother would be livid if she knew her boyfriend was still living with her son after 4 years.

OOP: No she created a fund for his son for his college but that was the only money set aside for him or his son. It’s a generous amount enough for 4 years at a high dollar school. Anything not used for school will be given to him on his 25th birthday from what I believe she told me (a lawyer and accountant are in charge of those funds not me or my sister so I only know what she told us before she died).

She was never married to or even engaged to her boyfriend. He lived with his sister and was saving for his own house when mom met him. Him moving in with us was supposed to be temporary and allow him to save to buy his dream home but he never left. My mom was like that though-she had a big heart and sometimes people took advantage of that (especially after the money). She bought him a brand new truck when his car broke down but beyond that and smaller gifts (like tv computer etc for birthdays and holiday gifts) she did not leave him money. They had no joint accounts my mom paid everything and he was supposed to be saving for a house the whole time they were together.

Commenter: Guessing to the Miss Thangs over the years he’s lived rent/utility-free in OP’s house. 

I’m also giving the stink eye to the sister laying the guilt-trip on OP for evicting him. 

OOP: I don’t think my sister meant any harm. Probably feels a little sad like me that his son won’t be around. I don’t expect we will get to visit with the kid (he’s 15) and we both like him and have known him awhile. The three of us gamed together some over the years and usually did an outing once every month or two to arcades or amusement parks or something like that together.

Commenter: […] I’m curious just how long your sister thinks he & son should be allowed to freeload off you. She doesn’t have the warm fuzzies for him, does she? 

OOP: No but she’s kind of a pushover like our mom was. Super kind hearted but to a fault. Heck maybe I am to, to an extent. I just don’t put up with disrespect.

Commenter: Was his gf shocked and believed him or was she trying to start the take over or at least try to? It’s possible he lied to her but it’s also possible she knew but was wanting to come in and take over it happens all the time. I would hire movers if they left anything do not let them back in it could be hell getting them out. Lucky they left

OOP: She seemed smug the whole time so I suspect she put him up to it because he and I always got along before this. He didn’t argue when I kicked him out. He did text me and asked to come by this weekend to get his stuff and asked if I would be willing to talk. I told him my dad and boyfriend will be here and he agreed to that.

How gf reacted when she found out:

She sat with her arms crossed when he and I talked but she didn’t say anything else she left with him.

OOP responds to a longer Comment:

Thank you so much. My mom was the sweetest person and when I was a teenager I feel like I was a nightmare to her. I am thankful I was much better in my late teens and 20&21 so she got to see me mature a little before she passed. I wasn’t always the best daughter but she was always the best mom.

I think part of letting him stay so long is having bonded with his son but also I liked having someone else around who loved my mom too. There were nights I would wake up from a nightmare and end up in the kitchen and he would hear me and just come make a cup of coffee and sit and share a story about her. His son loved mom too and some evenings we would get takeout and watch movies and joke about what commentary my mom would have had if she had seen the movie with us. My sister lives a state away so we only really see each other once a month or so. I liked not being alone in this big house.

I do have a security system and the locks have been changed. He is coming over tomorrow to get his stuff.

To a detailed accusation that this is a creative writing prompt:

Neither me nor my sister were teenagers when my mom passed away. I was the youngest at 21. And the funds have been in a trust but it wasn’t related to this story and the character limit made me already limit things I said. I won’t have full access to the funds left to me until I am 30 but I can request additional access through the trustees and I get monthly funds for bills and spending (my mom paid for people to manage both me, my sister’s, and her boyfriend’s sons trust (yes his college fund is in a trust as well thus why his dad has no access to it).

Personally I love Reddit this is a throwaway because I don’t want to dox myself and my actual account has photos of myself and my pets. But no one in my real life knows about the money except family and my mom’s boyfriend doesn’t even know how much money just t…

Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1jk42vr/extra_good_news_final_update_aita_for_kicking_out/

  • @[email protected]MEnglish
    2•22 days ago

    To a detailed accusation that this is a creative writing prompt:

    Neither me nor my sister were teenagers when my mom passed away. I was the youngest at 21. And the funds have been in a trust but it wasn’t related to this story and the character limit made me already limit things I said. I won’t have full access to the funds left to me until I am 30 but I can request additional access through the trustees and I get monthly funds for bills and spending (my mom paid for people to manage both me, my sister’s, and her boyfriend’s sons trust (yes his college fund is in a trust as well thus why his dad has no access to it). Personally I love Reddit this is a throwaway because I don’t want to dox myself and my actual account has photos of myself and my pets. But no one in my real life knows about the money except family and my mom’s boyfriend doesn’t even know how much money just that there was money (not even my boyfriend knows). Edit to add: journey was my mom’s words to her boyfriend when we all sat down, which is why I used that word. She was super into historical fiction romance novels and she used some old phrasing in real life sometimes because of it. My sister and I used to tease her for it all the time.

    OOP is voted NTA

    Update Post: February 1, 2025 (Next Day)

    I know the other sub is very subjective on updates so I figured I would post it here.

    I do want to take a moment to address some things I saw in the comment.

    1-there are trusts set up and neither me nor my sister has full access to the money left us. This was done both because my sister and I were in our early 20s when my mom died and she wanted to make sure we had some stability before we had access and to protect us from people who may try to take advantage especially while we were grieving.

    2-I have a lawyer. He has already informed me legally to my area what eviction laws are and my mom’s former boyfriend will be served with formal eviction papers just to cover myself even after today.

    So to the update:

    My dad came over (decided not to have my boyfriend over since he doesn’t know about the money side and I wasn’t trying to have the boyfriend out the situation) this morning and brought along my cousin. For easier telling I’m going to call mom’s former boyfriend Chuck.

    Chuck showed up about 10am my time and talked to my dad then asked if he could have a couple of minutes alone with me. Dad nodded so my cousin and him went into the kitchen and Chuck and I sat in the living room.

    I’ll be honest I didn’t expect it to go as it had but I am glad it did. Chuck started with an apology. I don’t remember all of the words said but the basics were he missed my mom, he has been lonely but not alone thanks to me and his son. He was sorry for what had happened that he got caught up in lust and let someone else fill his head with ideas and that he owned up to his mistakes and should have never put up with someone who would disrespect me or my mom’s memory.

    He tried to hand me a cashier’s check for 15000 dollars. He said it wasn’t much but he wanted me to know he appreciated me and living with me and that he wanted to pay back some of what he owed. I refused the check both in part because I never wanted his money but I also don’t want to give any possible legal leg for him to stand on if this is somehow him trying to stay. I told him the first part and told him to put it towards a house.

    He told me he is living with his sister but is going to look at houses with a realtor next week. He did say his son is asking about our next hang out date and said both me and my sister are welcome to arrange time with him.

    After all of that my dad and cousin helped him get all the stuff out of the house that he owned (he had brought a U-Haul) and he gave me back my house keys. He apologized again and left.

    Not what I expected. But it went really well and I feel a lot less like I let my mom down.

    Some of OOP’s Comments:

    Commenter: I’m just being nosey, sure, but how did the woman who thought she’s getting you kicked out of your house respond to it all?

    OOP: No clue. At my house she just seemed smug and bitchy. I didn’t ask Chuck about her and honestly don’t care. My house is nice but it’s not like it’s multimillion dollars or anything.

    OOP replies to a deleted comment:

    All of the “he is coming for your house” comments on my post kind of made me paranoid. Much happier with how he handled things even if the check made me a little paranoid too.

    Commenter (downvoted): Where did all the money your mom got come from? Was it an inheritance? And about how much did she get? Seems like a lot to buy so much…

    OOP: I won’t disclose any of that and it’s 100 percent irrelevant to the judgement of the topic at hand.

    • @[email protected]MEnglish
      2•22 days ago

      Update Post 2: February 11, 2025 (10 days later, 11 from OG post)

      Previous posts on my profile I am too lazy to link.

      This is probably going to be my last update unless something unexpected happens but I thought I would just give a quick update on Chuck.

      So Chuck called me last week and again yesterday. He put an offer on a house and yesterday got accepted! They expected close date is early next month but I am very proud of him. I know everyone expected more drama (and honestly some of the comments had me worried) but it’s been really good.

      He thanked me a lot for letting him have so much time here, offered me some money one more time for his time here which I again declined but I did offer to help him move in when the time comes (moving sucks). He put down almost half for a down payment so he definitely was saving money during his time here and I’m glad everything that happened was an encouragement for him to get into a home of his own.

      I talked to his son yesterday after he got out of school we are going to play laser tag this weekend with my sister and he is excited for the new house too!

      • @[email protected]MEnglish
        2•22 days ago

        *****Final Update Post: March 19, 2025 (1 month, 1 week later)*****

        Title: Final Update:kicked mom’s boyfriend out

        I didn’t expect to come back but I had a surprise this past weekend and I thought I would share some positives.

        So first off Chuck got his house! He closed and moved in this past week. He invited me over on Saturday to see the house and told me he had something for me.

        So some background on my mom. Mom was an amazing kind woman she was also heavyset and very self conscious. Most of the photos I have of her are Snapchat pictures she would send. She hated pictures of herself and she absolutely refused to pose for a camera. I have made many comments since she passed that I worry I won’t remember what she looked like since so many photos I have are either old or filtered.

        So back to present day Chuck invited me and my sister over and showed us his new place. He thanked us for being amazing people and then he handed us each a photo album. Guys, he had 100s of photos of my mom printed off for each of us. He told us he hated that she filtered her photos and he has secretly been taking photos of her their whole relationship because he loved the real her. He had snagged photos of us with her at the zoo, photos of her on vacations, photos of her napping, photos of her during hikes. Both me and my sister were bawling looking through these pictures of mom we never knew we needed. He had put some little card notes for dates of each photo and some descriptions on some. He managed to capture her smiling and laughing, things she would never take a picture of because she didn’t like her smile. To me this book is priceless.

        So that’s it, Chuck is amazing and maybe we had one bad moment but it doesn’t define him or I. He loved my mom and that matters. We are all going to get together for my mom’s birthday in a few months and just celebrate the woman she was.

        OOP’s Comment:

        Commenter (downvoted): My mom didn’t like to have pictures of her taken. My dad struggled a little to find a picture for her memorial service.

        At the after service lunch I was sitting next to my sister and an aunt started to take a picture of us. We both automatically dropped our heads and put our hands up. With no regrets.

        People have a right to not have their pictures taken against their will. I feel bad for the mother.

        OOP: My mom didn’t like the way she looked. She actually enjoyed photography behind the camera. She saw herself very differently than we did. And she did take photos she just used filters because she had issues with self image. I am very thankful for the photos. They are the real, authentic her.

        Top Comment:

        No-Sea1173: That’s so wonderful, and touching! And I love that your mother was so beloved during her life, and now.

        And so glad that you updated a great resolution to a moment of poor judgement.