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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ok_Scarcity5333 on 2023-09-13 22:14:56.

I 37f have been married to joe 35m for 11 years. So Joe has never been the romantic kinda guy, never has bought me flowers or surprised me. And I know who I have married and was not bothered by it until now. However I have always decorated the house,ordered cakes, invited his friends as surprise for his bday and he enjoys it and I like it that he is happy. But I do expect atleast a wish and dinner for special occasions like anniversary or bday.

This year on our anniversary a week before I picked a place where we would go for dinner. That morning he woke up in a bad mood and was annoyed with me for something petty, I realised he doesn’t remember so I let it be, I called him at work but he was busy in a meeting and he did not remember the whole day and at night when his mom called to wish us he realised it’s our anniversary.

Next came my bday. He forgot it’s my bday. He came home from work and looked at the flowers my boss had sent me and asked me about it for which I gave some random reason and did not remember it until post dinner until someone wished me in the common group. He apologised for not remembering it and promised we will go out for dinner next day… it got pushed to weekend and weekend he took me to the same place we go every weekend when we are bored to cook food. I was so over dressed. 😁.

This is where I might be petty but this time I thought maybe I am feeling bad cos I plan and surprise so much and maybe have started expecting it in return and I should keep it simple like he does. So I didn’t plan anything for his bday which is in a week. However he is constantly reminding me that it’s his bday and has asked me to take the day off from work as he wants us to go to the best restaurant and have a fun bday. Am now I am wondering why does he get to have special days when I never do. So AITA for not wanting to celebrate his bday ?