This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/SoftAndMushy on 2023-09-17 17:53:54.
So, recently my aunt (F41) and her son (M13) came home to my country from Sweden. We have a spare room where my dresses are hung since my room is a little small. They’re sort of hidden away on a rack in the corner so you have to pull them out to see them.
My aunt and my cousin were going to sleep in there which I didn’t have a problem with. He’s mentally handicapped (I don’t really know what it is) and practically acts like a 7-year-old (which is a little annoying but I don’t blame him or anything.)
When I woke up in the morning it was really hot and everyone was down stairs so I walked into the spare room to find a dress, only to find practically every single one with cuts and parts on the floor.
I basically freaked out and instantly knew who it was since my aunt and mom wouldn’t do something like that.
I stormed down the stairs and screamed at him, which attracted my aunt and mom to come immediately. I couldn’t be calmed down at all, since I bought most of the dresses with my own money.
He started crying and my aunt hugged him, trying to console him whilst my mom started yelling at me for making him cry. He even admitted to it after a while and even then they consoled him!
My mom offered to pay for some but it’s only enough to for like ten dresses and I had over thirty, besides I can’t find some of my favorites since we’re getting closer to winter and the fact that I was proud that I paid for it myself.
Some of my family (including my mom & aunt) are all telling me I’m in the wrong and to apologize to him, but I really don’t think I’m wrong.
AITA?
Some context: I am a 16-year-old cis woman and haven’t seen my aunt and cousin for a little over two years. We have a shared desk besides the dresses that have a few scissors here and there, we (my mom & I) forgot about them when they came so we didn’t hide anything away.
NTA. I’m also mentally challenged and the unpleasant feedback I’ve gotten from the world and from people has been far more valuable than all the calm discussion combined.
Sometimes the problem isn’t a lack of understanding. Sometimes it’s a lack of emotional structures to regulate one’s actions and perceptual framework.
Unpleasant feedback operates on those emotional structures.
If the human mind were a car, understanding things is knowing how to work the controls, but motivation is the gas. It doesn’t matter how much a person understands if there’s no fuel in the tank. The fuel is emotion, and emotionally silent feedback puts fuel in the tank.