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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Nasty-Comments on 2023-09-20 11:29:26.

My husband (M35) and I (F34) were recently at my sister’s (F40) birthday party, which was quite big. A lot of family and friends were there, many of whom we had not met before.

As the evening drew on, many people with young children left, but by the time the party was wrapping up at midnight, there were still a few teenagers around. My sister has two teenagers herself (F16 and M17), and they had all stuck together most of the night so I hadn’t interacted with many of them at all.

That being said, while I was lending my sister a hand and helping to clean up, I overheard a conversation between my niece and another boy (M18). He was trying to encourage her to take some of the leftover alcohol before the adults noticed, and my niece was repeatedly telling him that she did not want to. At this point, I will not lie, I was absolutely evesdropping because it seemed to be getting worse and worse by the second. I think they thought they were being quiet and not drawing attention, but didn’t anticipate me standing where I could hear them.

I decided to step in when the boy told my niece that she could “cop a feel” if she took some of the alcohol, and he would show her a good time later. My niece said “Ew, gross” and I walked over and asked the boy how dare he speak to someone like that. He looked like a deer in headlights when he realised I had overheard the whole thing and kept stuttering, but I told him that he still had a lot more growing up to do if he thought any of what he said was okay. I told him that he should be ashamed of himself for showing so much disrespect to my niece. I said that she had already told him that she didn’t want to take the drinks, and to try and pressure her and bargain with s*x was a horrible thing to do.

I hadn’t noticed, but the boy’s dad (M37) had come over while I was talking and said that I had no right to discipline his child, and that his son had done nothing wrong aside from being a teenager. He said that I had emasculated his son in front of a peer, and I was shaming him for having “urges” which are totally normal for his age group. He did start to raise his voice at me when he was asking who I thought I was, which is then what attracted the attention of my husband and the rest of the party. My husband told him to back off and not speak to me that way, which is when my sister basically threw us all out and called me an embarrassment.

She has subsequently texted me saying that I am not welcome again until I apologise to the boy and his father, and her whole birthday was ruined because I had to stick my nose where it didn’t belong. She said the boy’s dad was actually a coworker of hers, and I have made her work life hell when it wasn’t my place to say anything from the beginnining. I am now starting to feel quite bad - was I the AH?