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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Calm-Albatross9859 on 2023-09-21 17:12:59.

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I was 8 when I lost my mom to cancer. She knew her time was coming and I was told about it by my parents. It was a pretty traumatic time and some memories stuck while others faded. But I will always remember waking up in the middle of the night and hearing my mom ask my dad to take time after she died to move on. She said she knew I would need that and he needed to be there for me and to put me first. She also admitted she was scared that he was going to forget about her because he wouldn’t want to deal with his pain. She said she didn’t want to be forgotten or replaced. I don’t even remember if my dad said anything. But I knew my mom was crying while she was talking and I was crying too. She wasn’t wrong. I had already started falling apart when I knew she wouldn’t be there anymore.

My dad dated almost as soon as my mom was in the ground and 6 months later he introduced me to the woman who would be his second wife. There was no support for me during that time. He focused on doing everything mom feared he would. His second wife from the get go was like “I’m going to marry your dad and I’ll be his wife and your new mom”. The next few years were awful and I hated my dad for moving on so fast, too fast for me, and for doing his best to make mom the past and replace her with his second wife.

It was only 2 years ago when things got better. My grandparents intervened on my behalf after being ignored for years. It helped so much to have them step up and do what needed to be done for me. I was lost. Barely making it through school and my friendships were almost non-existent because I was so depressed. I actually ended up diagnosed with depression.

My dad’s wife thought that would be when I would start coming around to her and letting her in. But I still have no interest in a second mom or pretending she’s anything more than some woman my dad is married to. He doesn’t really care either but he’ll do whatever she wants so we all started therapy together a year ago and after four months the therapist wanted her to leave and for it to be just dad and me. It really hasn’t been going anywhere. But then last week his wife was determined to join us again and the therapist was like, you know what, speak up (to me) and say everything you have said in our 1:1 sessions. So I did. I told my dad he failed me by moving on too fast. I said he betrayed mom by making sure her biggest fear came through and by not doing the right thing by me, the child she gave him, his only child. I said he was hardly a dad to me since mom got sick. I told him he hadn’t realized I was depressed, he didn’t seem to care either, and he pretty much spat on my mom’s grave with his actions.

The therapist told him that he should care way more than he does and told his wife she unrealistic with her expectations and needed to let them go. It was afterward they both got mad and told me I had been cruel and not honest.

I’m now at my grandparents house but they still text to say I’m wrong.

So AITA?