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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/RoyalMany3627 on 2023-10-05 09:56:26.
I 18 f was named after my aunt who died in a car accident at 15, almost 20 year’s ago. I was told when I was born, my grandma saw my hair (Red) and begged my parent’s to name me after my aunt. They agreed. From a young age, I was aware she favored me. It also caused my other cousins to resent me. I didn’t like her favoritism towards me and just wanted to be treated normal. She would often say, you have red hair like your aunt or your aunt use to like art ( I’m not into art) and would encourage me to take it up. I refused and it would upset her. Your aunty liked her hair in this style. I complained to my parents and they said that I just bring her comfort. Whatever!
My 18th was two weeks ago and me and my friends planned to have a weekend road trip. My grandma disapproved and said my aunt would have done a party at home and I finally lost it and said that’s because, I’m not her, stop trying to make me be your dead daughter, I’m sick off it! My grandma started crying and left the room. I immediately felt bad. I got yelled at by family for making my grandma cry and my dad was the only one who looked troubled and stuck up for me and told everyone to leave. My mother was upset with me and like everyone else, demanded I apologize to my grandma, but I refused. My dad told me not to worry about it, and just go enjoy my road trip, it should be settled down, by the time I get back. Except it hasn’t, everyone still angry and my grandma hasn’t spoken to me either.
I agree with dad. Grandma needs to grieve. Only mistake was how it was said.